need help

Emily, would it be possible for you to just sit down and tell your mother that you feel there is something wrong and you need to see a therapist?  She may not react in the way that you fear she will, but it seems like you need to grab her attention and tell her what's going on, even if you don't know why you feel this way.  That's part of the problem, not knowing why.  As a mother myself, I can't imagine getting angry at my child for feeling miserable and asking for help.  If this doesn't work, can you talk to a counselor at school and ask for help?  They can often refer you to someone and though your parents would probably need to know about it, it would reinforce to them how serious you are.  People might seem not to notice because they don't want to admit that something could be wrong, so sometimes you have to make a little noise, not in an angry way, just enough noise so that they cannot ignore you any more.  You can certainly keep writing here and getting support, but it feels like you could really use some personal support from someone face-to-face.

What do you think?

Hi, I agree with Judy - I think you need to tell someone how you are feeling. A therapist will help you sort through everything to discover why it is that you are feeling so down. Not knowing why can make it all the more frustrating so I'm sure you want to know (even if you might also be a little scared to find out).

Crying can be good to release stress so don't try and fight it but please speak to someone. And continue writing here: we want to help and are glad to listen... I hope tomorrow doesn't feel quite so bad...

Hi Emily...

I have been there...where you wait for the good to happen.  I call it my intertia times because I don't feel like moving. 

Here is the thing...the depression...it causes you to see things from a lens of hopelessness and helplessness.  It colors everything and everyone...gray.  But...I am going to guarantee you that it really isn't all bad.  The depression just makes it seem that way.  And waiting...will not do a thing but allow you to stew in the bad feelings. 

You can't allow life to dictate what will happen next...you must take some control. 

Getting some help...is one way to make a change.  You have already done a wonderful thing...by reaching out here.  This shows that you want things to be different and that you want help.

Can you tell us more about what is going on in your life to cause you to feel this way?

Is there any way to get out of your room...out of the house...and just go for a walk.  Get another perspective.  Forget the sadness for awhile and just concentrate on the things you see, hear, and feel. 

Keep sharing with us...I know this is hard.  I hope that you can let in a little light today.