Hey guys, I haven't posted for a while. I haven't been feeling great but not horrible either. I have been coming by to read shareposts and comment once in a while but haven't had much to share really. Just kind of "flat" lately like another poster said.
Had a bit of a tumultous night last night. Was winding down from a relaxing Mardi Gras holiday when my sister sent me the dreaded "We need to talk" text. I hate that because my imagination went into overdrive. Anyways, turns out she is pregnant, a bit of a relief actually compared to what I was imagining. However, her situation is not ideal. She has had problems with anxiety/depression and quit school last year, was trying to go back. Only just got a part time job. She is turning 24 this weekend and is friends with the father but they are not in a relationship now and he is not financially stable either. I had to go with her to tell our mother, a bit nerve wracking but turned out well strangely.
The thing is, this is the kind of thing that would normally send my anxiety soaring. And of course, I am worried about her due to her situation. However, under it all, I am really actually excited for her. For her, and me, and our brother, growing up with a narcissistic mother, we have all had our issues with self esteem and anxiety and are not overall happy, emotionally healthy people. None of us have seemed to settle down with families or be successful. It seemed like we never would. And though I would not have wished it to happen in this way, I feel like this is a good thing for our family, a hope for the future. I guess it is easy for me to say because I am not having to deal with the actual raising of the child. Maybe I am living vicariously through her because I don't foresee this happening for me, I don't know.
Anyways, that's all I wanted to say for now.
Published On: February 22, 2012