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Shame on me! Why???

By aml0017 Monday, November 02, 2009

I have been doing so good lately.  I was eating healthy, exercising, relaxing, journaling, taking my meds on time, etc.  Then, a couple weeks ago I just let it all go to pot.  I have felt worse this past two weeks than I have in a while.  I did find out that my dog has heartworms so I was pretty upset.  But why do I stop doing all the things I know make me feel better when I need it the most?? It is a mystery.  I guess you live and learn.  I will be sticking to what works now. 

 

It just brings up the point: the very fact that you are depressed makes it harder to do the things you need to do to make the depression go away.  It is so frustrating.  When you are have a relatively good day it is just easier to do those things.  But when you are really down and those coping mechanisms would really help, it is just so hard to do them.  I mean, what is easier than just taking a little pill with water.  However, it was like I just didn't feel like it. I guess all you can do is the best you can.

 

Go figure, sometimes you are too depressed to stop being depressed.

Emotional Eating EEEK!
11/ 2/09 10:19pm

I hear you. I think we all have times when we're so depressed that we can't be bothered looking after ourselves even though logically we know that will only make us feel worse! It's like the logic/rational part of our minds is being drowned by the emotional. We stop thinking and just do what we feel like doing - which is most probably nothing (or sometimes something destructive).

 

I'm glad you seem to have decided to return to those good things though. It's hard to get past that blockade that wants to make us misbehave but it's worth the effort in the long run. Don't be too hard on yourself, though - we are only human after all Wink

 

I hope your dog is okay.

Merely Me, Health Guide
11/ 3/09 7:48am

Depression is a lot of work! You have to constantly manage it just like any other illness.  And when you need to do those things to help yourself the most...the depression makes you not want to do anything.  I have been in that boat many times.  Try to do at least one or two things which can help.  But sometimes just resting can soothe as well. 

 

I hope things turn around and you go on an upswing after this.  Just remember that when you are down the only direction to go from there is up.  It will get better.

 

Thanks so much for sharing.

11/ 3/09 1:05pm

I agree completely; Depression IS a lot of work. At times simply taking a pill can seem like a Herculean task; I believe we've all 'been there'.

 

One thing to remember though; "shame" & "guilt" are probably one of the most destructive emotions we can subject ourselves to. The worst part is that they're both learned emotions! Add to that they serve no real purpose other than at times, to cripple us and rob us of our very essence. I've seen entire lives affected by these learned emotions & it's really a tragedy.

 

So, where am I headed with all this? Simply put, nobody will EVER 'beat us up' any worse than we do to ourselves. We all 'fall off the wagon'; how & when (& if) we get back on is what really counts.

 

You've certainly had your ups & downs, so please start being good to yourself. Next time you feel this way, take a walk with your dog (hope s/he's doing better!), exercise, even take a nap if it feels too difficult to even get up.  It will get you over this hump...I promise! Smile

11/ 5/09 12:14am
I go through the same cycle you described. I have a period of time when all is well then something happens and I feel like I'm right back where I started. The best we can do is learn how to break the cycle. I also hope your dog is doing well.
5/26/10 8:41pm

no shame, just learning experiences,

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By aml0017— Last Modified: 12/19/10, First Published: 11/02/09