Am I depressed?

By Renee Monday, September 07, 2009

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I am not sure if I am suffering from depression. My husband feels that I am because he says that I am never happy. I have a beautiful family, a great job and seemingly wonderful life, but I do seem to be unhappy. I think my problem is that I keep things bottled inside and I don't talk to anyone about my feelings. I've had several things happen in my life that has affected me as an adult. My mother walked out on me when I was less than a year old. My granddaddy molested me until the age of 12. I also was physically abused by one of my boyfriends. I've never talked with any friends about any of these things because it hurts too much, but I think it is killing me inside. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about this face to face so a psychiatrist is probably out of the question for me. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Judy

9/ 7/09 5:47pm

Renee, please don't rule out talking to a psychiatrist or a therapist. What happened to you was traumatic and needs to be processed because you were too young at the time to make any sense of it. I can say this because I had some of the same things happen to me and yes, it was hard to talk about and I didn't even remember all of it but found out about it. But I did at my own pace, nobody "forced" me to talk, it just came out when I felt I could trust my therapist enough. There are specific treatments now for trauma survivors and while it's not an overnight cure, therapy could get you on your way to feeling a lot better. You could try antidepressants and I've done that, too, but pills don't heal your soul. You need a safe place to talk it through and figure out how what happened influences your life now and what you can do about it. It would be a good thing to do for your marriage and your family - not to mention yourself! I hope you will give it some thought because it is well worth the effort. It's something that is nearly impossible to do by yourself.

Hope to hear from you again!

Judy

Renee

9/ 8/09 7:58pm

Thanks Judy. I will think about it. I just know I have to do something or my marriage is not going to last, let alone my sanity. Maybe I could try to talk with someone. It is just so embarrassing. I was already regretting getting on here yesterday even though I know that no one knows me. Thanks again for your comments.

ANGEL GONZALEZ

9/ 8/09 12:55am

ANIMO RENEE VICITA A UN PSQUIATRA Y QUE EL, TE LO DIGA. PERO TEN MUCHO ANIMO. TE DESEO LO MEJOR.

Hypno

9/21/09 8:44pm

Victims of abuse have often been silenced either because the abuser has told them that they must not tell anyone or they have tried to tell someone who has not understood or made their situation worse, or the victim is afraid of their abuser knowing they have told someone and it will make the situation worse. Often when the abuser is a close family member there is the dual aspect of loving the caregiver and hating the abuser.

You however, as an adult with a beautiful family, are no longer a victim..you are a survivor. Your time has now come to speak out and rid yourself of any residual guilt, shame, embarassment, humiliation, sadness, hurt, grief, anger. Once expressed appropriately you will be freed from the depression and can live your life to the full.

You can speak out on this site with the knowledge that you do so in complete confidence and anonymity. What a good place to start, and once you gain confidence that you are being heard and understood and not judged, you will be able to seek out a therapist with whom you have rapport.

Don't worry... you've taken the first step...now take the next...the time for you to pay yourself some well deserved care and attention is now.

Hypno

anne1123

1/19/10 10:12pm

I was terribly conflicted about my mother who was in a mental institution from the time I was six months old. She was given a lobotomy and never got out. Anyway, talking about my mother has always been very painful and I never did talk to anyone about it. I always got severely depressed around Mother's Day and always repressed memories and feelings of anger and abandoment. Anyway, I do have a therapist but could not even talk to her about it. My mother is dead now but I still had all these feelings. Anyway, what I did was write her a letter about how I felt. I did feel somewhat relieved and I saved the letter so that when Mother's Day rolls around again, I can take it out and read it. So what I am getting at is maybe you could write those kind of letters. You don't have to mail anything or let anyone read it unless you want to. But it can at least get it out of your head and on paper and you might find some relief.

Am I depressed?

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