Doctor's Appt. Wednesday, February 09, 2011
|| 2:54pm ||
BP 138/80
I said that overall my depression was a 6 or 7 (10 being good). He said that my depression is not in remission (what does remission mean?). I think he said that the cut off would be 7+ to be in remission.
He suggested upping the zoloft and then I said, I'm not a pill person, which probably pissed him off or made him question everything about me and my care. He said, (my name), you're in a doctor's office. I don't even know why you're here if you say you're not a pill person.
I tried to explain to him why I'd say that. How I used to be really bad in that I would read the reviews and the s/e's of meds and then not take them. I'm better now with all that.
So I shouldn't have said anything.
I almost cried when I was telling him about how my depression is more situational and circumstantial (ie no friends, social anxiety).
He said that I appear dull and depressed to him.
He said pain and depression go hand in hand so it's a good idea to treat the depression so maybe the pain will go away.
He doesn't think the pain has an organic cause, though he is not saying that the pain is all in my head.
He said that the Lyrica is at a baby dose. I said I'm not entirely sure I'd up it because I think it's make me tired. I'm dragging through the day, feeling like I could keel over, out of it, and lethargic. He said that I'd have to outweigh the tiredness if I wanted the pain to go over, or compromise..if that makes sense. It made sense to me, but I can't explain it really.
He said that my globus sensation was severe and now has gone to moderate. I guess the clearing the throat and other throat issues are globus sensation which was not my impression. He says I should check with an ENT. I told him that my neuro wants me to see an ENT so I'd bring it up when I see the ENT. I do need to call the Neuro to see if they were able to make an appt for me.
I am not having the TCH's. If I were having them I'd know it; it's like an explosion in my head and can be very debilitating and almost paralyzing. He doesn't know, I don't think, what they are. He always throws out big medical terms at me and it kind of makes me mad because i have no clue what he's talking about. Does he think I'm in med school or something?
I'm to stop the Flonase which sucks because I just picked up the a new one, but luckily I didn't have to pay for it. Anyone want some free Flonase? lol
I don't have the bacteria infection in my right nostril anymore, but he said it's inflamed but he didn't give a cause or what to do.
After the appt. I sat in my car to write my notes down from the appt in the parking lot. I felt ok. But some feelings rushed over me to self harm. Rather than bypassing the feelings and driving home, I figured I'd just give in and do it. I'm so pissed at myself for saying that I'm not a pill person. I mean I'm sure he put it in the notes and now all the drs will see it. They all use laptops and the notes will be there for every dr that is treating me to see them. I don't want this to jeopardize my future care. How could I be so stupid.
Strawberries, was this a psychiatrist you went to? It sounds a little strange to me for him to have said that to you. You don't necessarily have to be taking pills to see a psychiatrist. When I tried going off mine at one point, I was still checking in with him, then ended having to go back on them. Don't be afraid to speak up about how they make you feel. If that extremely tired feeling doesn't go away in a few weeks, I would question that. I've taken stuff that has made me very tired and didn't realize how much until I stopped taking them. Then you have to decide if the benefits are worth the side effects. It's your body and only you know how it feels. Also, I hope you won't self-harm again. I understand how feeling stupid can trigger that desire, but you weren't being stupid at all - I think the doctor was inappropriate in what he said. That's just my opinion, but remember they are human and not God.
I hope you can soon resolve your uncomfortable feelings about Ralph. It sounds like he's a person that you could just be nice to without leading him to think you'd go out with him, or if he brings it up again, to turn him down with a little joke or say you have other plans.
Sounds like you're doing good work - I know it's not easy.
Judy,
This was a PCP appt.
Others have said that it was rude of him to say that because not everyone goes on the mainstream pills from MDs. I actually kind of want to investigate the natural route to things as in herbals and other grocery store supplements. Of course I wasn't quick enough to tell him that at the time.
Yeah, hopefully the tired feeling will go away since it's a med that builds up in you and not a PRN and most drugs like that some of the s/e's should wear off. Yeah, that's basically what he said about thinking about whether the benefits of the med would change my mind and just go through with the unpleasant s/e's so I won't be in pain anymore.
Thanks!
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Strawberries, was this a psychiatrist you went to? It sounds a little strange to me for him to have said that to you. You don't necessarily have to be taking pills to see a psychiatrist. When I tried going off mine at one point, I was still checking in with him, then ended having to go back on them. Don't be afraid to speak up about how they make you feel. If that extremely tired feeling doesn't go away in a few weeks, I would question that. I've taken stuff that has made me very tired and didn't realize how much until I stopped taking them. Then you have to decide if the benefits are worth the side effects. It's your body and only you know how it feels. Also, I hope you won't self-harm again. I understand how feeling stupid can trigger that desire, but you weren't being stupid at all - I think the doctor was inappropriate in what he said. That's just my opinion, but remember they are human and not God.
I hope you can soon resolve your uncomfortable feelings about Ralph. It sounds like he's a person that you could just be nice to without leading him to think you'd go out with him, or if he brings it up again, to turn him down with a little joke or say you have other plans.
Sounds like you're doing good work - I know it's not easy.