Introduction

So I just joined this site... Kind of confused as to where I should post.

I have been suffering from Major Depressive Disorder probably since 1998. I have a history of anorexia..that's what got me into therapy in 1998. Some other Mental Health issues I have are Trichotillomania, Self Harm, Anxiety, Social Anxiety. I am actually not sure on my 'official diagnoses'.

But I definitely suffer from depression and some sort of anxiety.

I have been on so many types of medications, I don't think any of them have helped.

Since September, I have been restricting my food intake. I see a counselor right now... I don't think she is very good, but I dont have any other choice (I have public assistance insurance and it's been very hard finding drs that take my insurance).

I kind of have a history of just stopping medicine because I don't care anymore and because I have been on it so long that it isn't doing me any good. Sometimes, I think I am treatment/medication resistant...or my body  is.

It seems like in August I was put on a Mood stabilizer (I don't have Bipolar, but I am aware of different medications helping for different disorders). It was Trileptal. I had some weird side effects or symptoms on that so I just stopped it, cold turkey. I know you're not supposed to do that. But i couldnt take any more of that. I think I have also recently been on Ritalin.. that made me too irritable. I've never heard of prescribing a stimulant for depression.

Basically, most recently, I took Geodon for i think... less than a week. It had horrible side effects and symptoms for me. So my nurse told me to just stop it. Which was odd, because I didnt wean myself off of it. Now for today. (10-20-09) I was given Invega.

I have no idea why they are giving me anti psychotic drugs. I asked what they were trying to treat, she said mood swings (ups/down), anger, SI, and she may have said anxiety. Well I have all that, but no mood swings...I am constantly down. Unfortunately, I have a hard time expressing myself (both verbally and written). So I wasnt able to say, "why not try an anti depressant" Or what I really want to say is, "What about Pristiq?" I have a feeling that my insurance won't cover that drug.

So I dont know. I see the nurse in a week, hopefully. If the Invega doesn't help. I hope I will be able to ask her about the Pristiq.

I have a lot of memory/forgetfulness. I know I don't have Alzheimer's (or at least I'm too young for that)... I think... But I took an online test for Alzheimer's just maybe to give an idea to some medical professionals... I have been unable to give that to them.

Currently, I have felt like I am in a brain fog. I having decreased alertness, and driving scares the heck out of me ... I still drive when I have to, but I've just been feeling so off that I don't think its a good idea to drive, but I have no other choice.

I have a lot of pain (back and neck pain). It seemed to have gotten worse just this past week. Nothing helps it. I have a lot of headaches.