Hi everyone,
I feel myself slipping a little - my meds had to be changed because of a very bad side effect, and the last time I posted I was feeling so much better. Every time I feel myself slipping even a little - I'm actually feeling the depression a bit - I get scared, because I know what that could possibly lead to. I'm trying to do everything I need to do to stay healthy, but so much for me is chemical. So....I'm a bit freaked right now - which doesn't help with the anxiety, I know. On top of that, I had to find a new psychiatrist....that's never easy. I haven't had the best experiences with providers, so....trust is a big deal. But I'm really trying. Just isolating some....yea, scared.



I am sorry you are feeling scared. What is your worst fear?
Sounds like you are going through a lot. I am hoping your new psychiatrist will be a good one and help you.
Please hang in there...
Merely me,
Sometimes just hearing hang in there helps...this is not forever. I respect you so much, thanks for your caring. My worst fear is that I will continue to go down - you know - to a deeper depression where I have certainly been way too many times in this life....when I'm feeling ok, it's still always in the back of my head that it's always a possibility... so when I feel myself going down a bit - more depressed, I get scared... that I could end up in the hospital feeling suicidal. I'm nowhere near that now, but the depression is creeping in a bit. My new psychiatrist seems wonderful so far, and I feel cared for and taken care of. Again, thank you for your caring. It means so much.
Mara
Can I just share with you? I had to change providers because the APRN I was seeing did not get back to me for days - the second time this happened - and I never call...I couldn't swallow - literally. I'm so sensitive to meds - it was a side effect from the risperdal - I ended up in the ER...trust is such a huge issue. She finally TEXT MESSAGED me that she was too sick to talk right now. No one covering - nothing. I was sexually abused by a social worker when I was 19 (I'm 44 now, but it still affects me) and so having to find another provider - still a bit scarey as well. So I put it off as long as I could....I think I'm lucky with this psych. She seems very competent. And I have a wonderful therapist - for years now. So all of that combined - I'm shakey and faultering a bit right now. Thanks for listening to me....I just needed a safe place to vent.
Mara