So today was the first day of my new begining. I talked to my best friend about some of the issues that I need to deal with. I told her that I am going to meet with the head of psychiatry at the VA tomorrow. I am hoping that I will get approved for one on one therapy. If I do get approved then I am going to develop a game plan for the issues I have that I need to deal with.
The first issue that I want to deal with is my PTSD. I realized that when I was dating my recently ex boyfriend that I really need to deal with my PTSD. I will never be able to have a good relationship if I can not get past the problems that haunt me. I feel like if I am able to deal with it then some of my other problems will be resolved!
The next thing I want to work on is my abandonment issues. I was not abandoned as a child. In fact I was never abandoned. In the past few years I have had a fear of being alone. I feel like I have to have someone around me at all times, I have unrealistic expectations of my friends and thier time.
And probably not lastly, because I am sure many more issues will be discussed, I want to deal with my self mutilation. I do not cut myself, something similar to it. I scratch my arms. So bad in fact that I have scars all over my forearms. I have gotten my left forearm tattooed to cover the scars, and am getting my right arm done this week. I want to overcome the disgusting habit that started three years ago.
So that's where I am today. Hopefully after seeing the doctor tomorrow I will be able to put my plan into action. Today was a good day. Tomorrow will be a good day. I will continue to say this to myself every day. I will stay positive. I can do this!
Hi there
I have to say...I am extremely impressed with how you have analyzed your issues and are conscious of them and are ready to tackle them head on. Not only that...you have a plan to see a therapist! Bravo!
So you have identified these issues thus far:
1. Fear of being alone or of being abandoned. Which means you need to figure out how to connect with others without this fear taking over.
2. You want to deal with your PTSD. Member Judy has found great success with a certain type of therapy for PTSD which you can read about on our anxiety site. This therapy is called EMDR therapy.
3. You wish to stop your self harm. I understand this as I used to be a cutter. Here is my post about how I overcame my wish to self harm.
As I find resources or information I will be most happy to share with you.
I like your approach to coping with your depression and underlying issues and your sense of responsibility.
Please feel free to lean on us as you progress along your journey. I feel confident that you will succeed with these goals.