Wednesday, November 04, 2009 mtmichelle1976 asks

Q: my partner of a year has anxiety and depression and has just left after an argument

saying he still loves me but doesnt think that we have a future with his illness. I really beleive he is making a mistake and have begged and pleaded with him to come home and not isolate himself. He says its unfair to come home just because he feels guilty or doesnt want to be alone. Last night after talking he says he just needs time to think but hes not sure he will be back.

We have been living together and do everything together has always said he couldnt live without me. I have two children from my previous marraige and he adores them. Always wanted them to call him daddy etc

I supported him to get proper treatment for the first time a stay in a clinic and weekly CBT.

I undertstand his issues, but surely he can see that all relationships have ups and downs and we can work this out

Answers (2)

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Judy

11/ 4/09 12:32pm

Hi, and thanks for writing in here. It sounds to me like his depression isn't being managed well right now and he is seeing everything through dark glasses, or the other possibility is that he's using this as a way to get out of the relationship. It sounds more like the former, though. Is he currently on any medication or getting therapy? If he isn't, you might want to encourage him to do it or suggest that you both see a couples therapist, which can really help iron out misunderstandings and miscommunications. Not talking about it doesn't get anywhere and he's probably not feeling guilty as much as shame for being in this state.

I hope you'll be able to work this out with a happy outcome for both of you. Let us know if we can help with anything else and feel free to write again any time.

mtmichelle1976

11/ 4/09 1:44pm

he has weekly cbt and has also had a two week stint in a clinic. I have suggested everything I possibly could. He was here least night and says im not even giving him time to think but I feel like he is isolating himself

bobbyandlorrie

11/ 6/09 12:28pm

I agree w/ judy. but I want to add that if the 1st(depression) is the prob. this could very well be his way of screaming out for help! Be there for him which it sounds like you are because you are here seeking advise:-) and INSIST( you have to be very very persistant sometimes and it can take time) he get a diagnosis so he can get the meds he needs to go on in life!!!!!! ITS hard it really is but hopefully you will catch him at the right moment and time and he will get his illness treated and the 2 of you will live a long and happy life together!:-) Good Luck, he is very lucky to have someone like you thats there for him and supportive and caring enough to ask for help! Let me know how things go, ok:-)

Q: my partner of a year has anxiety and depression and has just left after an argument

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