I can't seem to find my place in life. I'm young enough that if I were to say that to anyone they'd tell me I have a lot of time to figure that out. In reality I feel like my time is very limited. I feel so lost even in large groups of friends. Sometimes I’ll blame them because some of them can't recognize that most of my smiles are faked. Ever since last year I feel like I’ve been unraveling, slowly and torturously so. I want someone to see past my smiles and see me. I long for the past and I dread the future. When I do nothing I feel like I’m helpless and useless. When I try to do anything I’m enveloped by the sharp fear that I will fail and EVERYONE will see just how worthless I really am. I want to belong somewhere; I want the support I need to fall back on even when I fail.