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Sunday, May 10, 2009 ilki, Community Member, asks

Q: Why do i feel so lost and unhappy even when I'm not alone?

I can't seem to find my place in life. I'm young enough that if I were to say that to anyone they'd tell me I have a lot of time to figure that out. In reality I feel like my time is very limited. I feel so lost even in large groups of friends. Sometimes I’ll blame them because some of them can't recognize that most of my smiles are faked. Ever since last year I feel like I’ve been unraveling, slowly and torturously so. I want someone to see past my smiles and see me. I long for the past and I dread the future. When I do nothing I feel like I’m helpless and useless. When I try to do anything I’m enveloped by the sharp fear that I will fail and EVERYONE will see just how worthless I really am. I want to belong somewhere; I want the support I need to fall back on even when I fail.

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Answers (4)
Merely Me, Health Guide
5/12/09 3:47pm

Well...the one thing I know about such things from experience is that if you don't tell someone specifically what sort of support you want...people will not know.  I know it would be nice if others around you could see through the facade you describe...but most people are in their own heads thinking about their own lives and personal issues.


Take a risk.  Be assertive and ask for what you want.  You just may get it.


I am glad you took a first step by writing here.  Keep reaching out.  You will be heard.

mandytpie, Community Member
5/11/09 3:08am

if i could give you any advice i would tell you to go talk to someone.  like an expert.  there really is no harm in going and talking to someone and going through a screening just to see if it is an age thing or if it not.  maybe there is something wrong and by talking to someone you can get help and become happy.  it can be anything from just talking to someone to meds, you never know.  no harm in talking though.

yippyskippy1952, Community Member
3/23/11 10:37pm

At least from my side of the net, I think I came to realize that a long history of feeling empty, lost, disconnected from love, I was living by default.  I spent most of my living moments worried and anxious about what I thought could possibly be waiting for me further up the road.  As well, when I looked back over my shoulder at where I'd been and the trail I left, I was saddened.  But the more I listened to a couple of good, kind loving friends, the more empowered I became to start to live consciously.  The more I practiced, the more I read on the subject, the more I stopped being in this corner I was painting myself in.  So, in short, it takes a heck of a lot for some of us to return to the moment and learn to have better thoughts.  And yep, time does fly.  So for me, it was time to get started looking at now, and stop looking at my past and future.   Hope this helps.  P.S., I didn't stop having goals about my future.  Those are part of my better thinking.

whyme?, Community Member
1/24/12 7:27pm

I feel like you just wrote the story of my life, to the tee. except i don't have friends or family in my life just my boyfriend. so i don't have advise but i wanted to tell you you'r not alone with all of those feelings. I too am very young. I hate my self when i can't get any motivation for day's or more. and never think I'm good enough when i do accomplish things. my boyfriend is very supportive with me moods but i always feel so alone as well. your not alone!

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By ilki, Community Member— Last Modified: 01/24/12, First Published: 05/10/09