Hello there

I hear you.  I think depression is one of those diagnoses which can be on a spectrum.  It is my opinion that there are different types of depression and different causes. Nobody will experience it in quite the same way.

In terms of "experts" YOU are the true expert of your own depression.  In other words...you know what has worked and what has not worked for you.  If you are looking for someone to give you THE remedy for your depression I am afraid there is no such person whether they are a peer, loved one, psychiatrist, or mental health guru. 

Have you received any sort of official diagnosis?  Please know that am not a therapist, doctor, or pharmacist, and regardless of the title bestowed upon me above my profile...I do not consider myself an expert.  I have spent a considerable amount of time trying to get this title changed.  But I am someone who has battled depression my whole life...since childhood.  I am 46 now. 

It is my opinion...from what you are saying here...that perhaps you have more than just depression going on...maybe some anxiety involved as well?  Have you had a good physical?  Sometimes medical disorders and conditions can underlie mood disorder symptoms.  For example...I have Multiple Sclerosis and this can cause the mood centers of my brain to not function properly.  Other medical conditions affecting mood can include thyroid dysfunction, diabetes, and heart disease.  Vitamin deficiencies can also contribute to mood problems.  I would try to rule out any of these medical conditions to know what you are dealing with...especially if you are thinking that this is predominantly biological in nature.

Have you had any traumas in your life which may be contributing to your depression?  Sometimes depression is a wake up call that something is wrong in our life...something we need to deal with.  Do you have any major life stressors which could be contributing to your mood?

Another possibility is that, as I mentioned before, that this is more than depression.  You may want to read a post by one of our writers, Marcia Purse, who asks, "Do You Have Bipolar Disorder?"  What is especially intriguing are the comments because it seems some folk who have have originally diagnosed with depression...and for whom the traditional depression meds did not work....they actually had Bipolar Disorder.  I have a friend who this happened to and she is now taking Lamictal...in addition to her other medications and finally she is feeling more stable.

Psychotherapy can be a crap shoot.  There are a lot of great therapists out there and there are some stinkers.  I wrote about my experiences with some bad therapists in previous posts.  I have personally been helped by psychotherapy when I found a good therapist who was well trained and ethical. 

Some people do have treatment resistant depression.  Here is an excellent article written by a doctor about treatment resistant depression and some options to treat it.

I don't know exactly what you are going through...truly nobody else can walk in your shoes.  But I do understand your frustration of not being helped...yet...with what you consider to be some very serious depression.  It can make one feel resentful and doubtful that anyone can help. What we have to offer here is peer support, information and resources. 

Please do take a look around the site.  There may be something here to help.  I am so sorry that you are going through this. Maybe write a sharepost about your experiences so that other members can provide support. 

I suppose "cutting edge" would be a cure for depression.  We are not there yet unfortunately so we have to make do with the tools we do have and there is a lot. 

Thank you so much for your question.  I wish you the very best.

HenryVIII

9/10/11 11:24pm

Thank you Merely Me, you raise some good points, particularly the one regarding that "YOU are the true expert..." which makes perfect sense.  In reality, this is actually disappointing for me, albiet true when I think about it. A skinned knee as a boy-someone helps and you feel better, a broken leg is set, you get a cast and eventually- you are all better again, etc. With depression, this never happens. While you are correct, I don't want to be my own expert. It's sort of the same reason why psychotherapy never worked for me-I can see right through it. I have always felt and known that I am too aware and have too much insight, even as a young child. I certainly hope that doesn't come across as pious but I suppose it doesn't really matter.

 

I was diagnossed, several times, with clinical depression and yes, I have anxiety as the cherry on top. I am having toruble with migraines as well but that is a more recent development. I do see a regular doctor and more recently some specialists.  I now work in a small town but commute back to Pittsburgh where I permanently live on weekends.  I will say that I feel sorry for people who live in small towns as the medical choices are awful. I know I am painting with a broad brush and that there are exceptions but Jesus Christ, I would rather take my own apendix out with a Ginsu or perform my own prostate exam with a "We're #1" giant yellow foam hand than go through some of the horror stories I have heard. Well.....perhaps the latter might be rather fun....just kidding.

 

I must say, nobody else walks in my shoes, that is for sure Merely Me. You obviously have been there and done that and wise enough not to try to 'tell me' what is wrong.  I have had several professionals,  ones who are very respected in their fields tell me that this is who I am and how I think, essentially. This and other info is what supports the medication route and there is other information that pressty much cements that.

 

I really just don't want to walk around with so much hurt in me and that anxiety is so much fun either.  I will say that in some way, you Merely Me and the very kind person before you have had a positive effect upon me, albeit small but nonetheless good.  Perhaps this is what I was reaching out for...I don't know but thank you very much, it means a great deal to me.

 

Thank you kindly,

 

Henry VIII with the yellow foam finger in my buttocks and a smile on my face.

Merely Me, Health Guide

9/11/11 9:08am

We are glad that something we have said resonated with you.  Sometimes what one needs most when depressed is simply someone to give some support.  That is what this site is all about.

 

I am wondering if you might find a doctor or therapist in Pittsburgh as opposed to the small town you live in. 

 

Too much insight?  I suppose I have thought this about myself as well.  A poorly trained therapist or one who does not match your personality may be a waste of time.  It is difficult to know who will be a good match for you this way but it is worth the effort to find someone.  There are always areas of the self which are not easily seen.  We think we know everything but there are rooms of the mind which you may never see unless you have a guide.  Hope that makes sense.

 

I wonder too if you are distrustful that anyone can actually help you.  If you have had some bad experiences with therapy this can be the unfortunate outcome.  Trust is the critical element in therapy...without that...you might as well not be in therapy.

 

Is there anything in particular which makes you feel depressed or anxious? 

 

Write a sharepost...and perhaps other members can relate to your story and provide support.

 

Thanks for reaching out here.