People have been coming into my life who keep telling me to force myself and to push myself to get out there. I know they're right, I guess I'm wondering how much of my diagnoses is still true and maybe it IS ME, and not a chemical imbalance and that in truth I lack motivation, direction, optimism and desire...I've been in a mental hole for days now. I take antidepressant and anti-axiety medications. But, life is so painful and sometimes I wonder if I'm going to make it.





Thank you so much for your intuition and kind words. I like the analogy about diabetes or M.S., you're so right (deep sigh). I have days just as you described-bland. I think what's holding me back is fear-I'm afraid of being alone. Which really makes it tough in meeting people while depressed. I recently went through a breakup and yesterday was my ex's birthday, long story short, it was a trigger. I did walk a trail that took 3 hours to complete, but, all the while he was there in the back of my mind. He split up with me. So, I'm grieving over that, but, I feel like life is passing me by and that I'm going to have so many regrets because I didn't do things while I'm still capable, I'm 46 and semi-athletic. I'm also afraid of letting people get to know me. I'm fairly ordinary, but, some of my views, in particular one's of a Spiritual nature reflect a hodge-podge of teachings that work for me. I wish I had everlasting faith that things are really going to be okay. Again, thank you for reaching out to me-I feel grateful I was guided to this site. Pain can be a great motivator.