People have been coming into my life who keep telling me to force myself and to push myself to get out there. I know they're right, I guess I'm wondering how much of my diagnoses is still true and maybe it IS ME, and not a chemical imbalance and that in truth I lack motivation, direction, optimism and desire...I've been in a mental hole for days now. I take antidepressant and anti-axiety medications. But, life is so painful and sometimes I wonder if I'm going to make it.
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Q: I was diagnosed with clinical depression/anxiety over a decade ago.
Answers (2)
9/ 9/09 3:55pm
Hi Lala
Well...I am not a therapist but if you have been diagnosed with these things...it probably is possible you are still having these issues. When you ask if it is just you or not...this is a very interesting question. I mean...would you still be you if you had diabetes or Multiple Sclerosis or any other illness? We cannot dissect ourselves to say...okay...this is the depression and this part here...is me. You are you. Does this make sense. But you are you...with possibly anxiety and depression. How you choose to help yourself and treat these things is totally up to you.
Motivation is a tough thing. When I am depressed I suffer from a great inertia...it is hard to get up and move because...everything seems the same shade of bland.
Despite your depression, however, it is possible to act...and move...and carry on. Easier said than done I realize.
What thoughts or feelings are holding you back do you think?
Talk to us more about what is going on in your life. Above all though...don't beat yourself up. Depression and anxiety is not your fault.
Thank you for reaching out here...
9/10/09 7:29pm
Thank you so much for your intuition and kind words. I like the analogy about diabetes or M.S., you're so right (deep sigh). I have days just as you described-bland. I think what's holding me back is fear-I'm afraid of being alone. Which really makes it tough in meeting people while depressed. I recently went through a breakup and yesterday was my ex's birthday, long story short, it was a trigger. I did walk a trail that took 3 hours to complete, but, all the while he was there in the back of my mind. He split up with me. So, I'm grieving over that, but, I feel like life is passing me by and that I'm going to have so many regrets because I didn't do things while I'm still capable, I'm 46 and semi-athletic. I'm also afraid of letting people get to know me. I'm fairly ordinary, but, some of my views, in particular one's of a Spiritual nature reflect a hodge-podge of teachings that work for me. I wish I had everlasting faith that things are really going to be okay. Again, thank you for reaching out to me-I feel grateful I was guided to this site. Pain can be a great motivator and disabler too.
9/ 9/09 4:22pm
you know i wonder how lkong it takes to get better too.
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By Lala— Last Modified: 11/01/10, First Published: 09/09/09
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Thank you so much for your intuition and kind words. I like the analogy about diabetes or M.S., you're so right (deep sigh). I have days just as you described-bland. I think what's holding me back is fear-I'm afraid of being alone. Which really makes it tough in meeting people while depressed. I recently went through a breakup and yesterday was my ex's birthday, long story short, it was a trigger. I did walk a trail that took 3 hours to complete, but, all the while he was there in the back of my mind. He split up with me. So, I'm grieving over that, but, I feel like life is passing me by and that I'm going to have so many regrets because I didn't do things while I'm still capable, I'm 46 and semi-athletic. I'm also afraid of letting people get to know me. I'm fairly ordinary, but, some of my views, in particular one's of a Spiritual nature reflect a hodge-podge of teachings that work for me. I wish I had everlasting faith that things are really going to be okay. Again, thank you for reaching out to me-I feel grateful I was guided to this site. Pain can be a great motivator.