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So sorry this happened, Lala - but the good news is, you are recognizing what's going on and you learned something from this experience.  You have nothing to be ashamed of, you took a risk to care about someone and it didn't work out and you know that doesn't mean it will never work out.  You ARE special for your own reasons and one day someone will see that - probably others have already, we don't always know what people really think of us.  There are a lot of other guys out there and if you keep your heart open, you will find him.  Take care.
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