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Friday, December 11, 2009 lionhead asks

Q: Depressed boyfriend after 4 years wants to be single and doesn't want to settle with the one person

Hey,i'm new to all this forum stuff so not sure what to do but I don't have anyone who can help me with my boyfriend.

 

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and have split up twice because of his depression, but have after a few months apart got back together. The last time we split was 2 years ago and I said then that I won't put up with this  if it happens again. The past 2 years have been amazing as he underwent councilling and the relationship has been amazing. However about 2 weeks ago his grandad died and hes said hes relooked into his life and wants to be single as hes not ready to settle down with one person yet. Its come as a total shock and I've been at a real loss what to do. We were supposed to be going away on holiday next week but he has cancelled and thankfully a friend has stepped in. He tells me he is not 100% sure what he wants but that he thinks he needs to be single to sort his head.

As this is not the first time, I really don't know what to do - whether to fight for him as a month ago he was telling me that he wanted to spend his life with me, or to let him go. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

xx

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Answers (3)
John Folk-Williams, Health Guide
12/12/09 11:52pm

Hello, lionhead -

 

I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend's sudden shift. It wouldn't surprise me if he's having another period of depression after losing someone close. If his depression is recurrent, that's a strong possibility. That's the sort of depression I had for much of my life. After my mother died, I went into a very long episode, but it took me months to realize what was happening. My first impulse, as always, was to isolate myself, even from my wife, and blame her or work or something else for the problems I was having. There were many times in the past when leaving my wife seemed like the answer to everything, and as a blogger I've heard many stories of exactly this behavior. It's always possible he's just had a change of heart about the relationship, but depression should also be considered.

 

Your response the last time was similar to my wife's. She confronted me but in an understanding way - explaining the hurt my behavior was causing her, assuring me of her love but also demanding that I get help. Since your boyfriend has gotten help before, he may be open to checking out the role of depression this time too.

 

You're the only one who can decide what's best for you - and what you can stand to live with. Taking care of your needs is the main thing. All you can do is let him know what you feel.

 

I hope you'll stay in touch here and let us know if there's anything we can help with.

 

John

Reply
12/21/09 9:42am

Thanks for your messages.

 

Its basically because his dad cheated on his mum for 6 years with another women and he doesn;t want to be like his dad. It was a wierd scenario and his dad left his mum for this women and then she didnt want to be with him so his parents have been living together as a married couple but not in a relationsip since then and its messed him up a bit.

 

He has been in constant relationships in his 20s and wants to be single so that he can "feel like a man". This is obviously hard for me to hear and part of me can understand and then part of me thinks if you've found someone you love why ruin that with pointless flings that will probably mess him up even more (he has said I am the person he wants to grow old with but wishes he met me in a couple of years). I obviuosly don;t want to wait around whilst he screws around but i'm not sure it will help him.

 

He has had councillingng before and for his last relationship. He says he knows what they will say and so won;t do it again. He didn;t love his last girlfriend and was 21 so i can;t imagine they would say the same things.

 

He text me today, as I got back from our holiday, and said he felt really crap because of all this and do i still want to spend Christmas with him. I don;t know whether to say no and let him have his space and move on :-( Its all so difficult. We're both 26 so pretty young i guess still.

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12/11/09 4:57pm

Hi, there.  This isn't a good time of year for this to happen, is it?  I'm sorry you're having to go through this.  My guess is that he may be grieving for a while, plus I think when someone close to you dies, it does make you think about your own mortality and wonder if you're "living your best life" as Oprah would say.  Sometimes people can get stuck in grief and it turns into depression.  I think you have to look inside yourself to see what it is you want, too, and whether or not he can give you that.  Have you ever tried couples counseling?  That can be very helpful, but I guess if he isn't feeling like being part of a couple, he probably wouldn't want to do that.  He may be depressed, in which case pulling away from others can be part of the symptoms.  Maybe you could see a therapist yourself and try to sort it out.  I wish you the best and hope things work out for you.

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12/21/09 2:12pm

Depression is hard to understand unless you've been through it yourself. If you haven't, then realise that you really don't understand what the other person is going through. There's a big difference between 'normal' depression and sadness, when something happens causing you to feel this way, which is a normal response, and clinical depression. In clinical depression there is a change in your brain 'chemistry', for want of a better way of putting it, that doesn't occur with the depression or sadness that most people feel with a traumatic event.

 

It's important to understand that no one chooses to feel depressed (I'm talking about clinical depression), it is the most awful and frightening feeling, nobody wants to feel this way, and the real point is that your boyfriend, if he suffers from clinical depression, won't be able to choose to be depressed or not. Also, it's not necessarily related to anything happening. For me it's like a light switch, it's either on or off, I more or less know the moment I wake up, and when it's off it seems absurd that I feel the way that I do when I'm depressed. Whatever the reason for depression, understand that this 'switch' causes a real change in the depressed person's brain, they feel awful, behave badly, get irritable, angry, etc. (have a look at all the usual symptoms of depression) and of course, this makes it really difficult for the people around them.

 

The bad news is that once you've had a couple of clinical depressive episodes (caused in my case, by a long period of stress and a couple of traumatic events) you are likely to have to live with depression for the rest of your life (there are various theories as to why this is, but suffice it to say that there is some kind of permanent change in your brain that causes it, with the emphasis on permanent). The good news, however, is that it's relatively easy to treat. If your boyfriend isn't already seeing a good therapist, then this is an excellent first step. They may recommend various anti-depressant drugs, some work better than others, and it tends to be a very individualized response. Personally, I prefer to be off the drugs, although it can make it harder to manage. They can help, particularly as a short to medium-term solution.

 

There is a lot of evidence to show that a regular exercise routine can be a very good way of managing depression. I don't know how this works, but it seems to. Other things like getting enough sleep and a good diet helps. Probably the single most important thing is going and seeing a good therapist, and if covered by medical insurance (as it's expensive), making this more or less a permanent fixture. Talk therapy really does help.

 

What can you do to help? Just being there for him is a big one, and laying off big issues, like whether you're going to spend the rest of your lives together or not. This kind of stuff is not good when the person is depressed, leave these kinds of decisions for when they are well. Stress, in any form, is a big trigger for depression, so don't add to it by trying to force decisions on big issues. And forget about the pep talks, you know, the "you've got to pull yourself out of this" type talks, these really don't help and just tell the other person that you don't have any idea of what they're facing. You don't really have to say anything, just be there for you boyfriend. In time, one realises that depression comes in cycles, like the weather, and like bad weather that blows in from time to time, it passes too. You just have to learn how to cope with it best, so as to make it manageable, and wait for it to pass. There are probably specific triggers, like having a fight, that can start the depression, so look for these patterns and try to identify and avoid the triggers.

 

Worth noting is that a good therapist can be well worth it, they're much more likely to be able to help than hours of talking to friends, etc. Clinical depression should be treated like a disease, which it is, and you need professional help. If you had diabetes you probably wouldn't try to self-medicate, same goes for depression. Depression isn't a 'harmless' disease either, as suicide becomes a real issue. I get suicidal thoughts every time I get depressed, it's just that I recognise them now as a symptom and don't get to scared of them, neither am I inclined to act them out as I know that they're part of the disease and not really what I feel.

 

I've accepted that I will have to live with depression for the rest of my life, and that means trying to build the means to cope with it when it blows into town. If you're serious about a future with your boyfriend, you're going to need to do some reading, here are a couple of good links to start with: 

http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm

 

what to do to help someone with depression:

http://helpguide.org/mental/living_depressed_person.htm

 

I can empathise, living with someone with depression isn't easy, but if it's hard for you, it's a lot tougher for them. It isn't something anyone would choose.

 

 

 

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1/29/10 4:48am

Hi all

 

Just thought i'd provide a brief update as I need some advice. As mentioned above the past 2 months although he has said he doesnt want to be with me, we spent Dec practically as a couple as we had lots of things to do Christmas etc. Anyway the last time i saw him properly was 4 Jan and i said i understand you need to be alone but i want to be there for you, which he responded to. Throughout Jan we have been texting every few days to check up on each other

 

Anyway a week ago, he sent me a nasty text saying we shouldnt be in contact as it wasnt healthy. I was upset with this new attitude so demanded we briefly met up. He explained that he needed to be sngle and I wasn't helping him to be. I said I was staying in contact as i think he has depression again, however he was ademant he didnt (hes lost weight, texted me saying he is not happy etc) and that he needed me out of his life. This was all wierd as a week before i texted him if he wanted a cuddle and he said that would be good but that he needed to complete his exams first.

 

On Monday of this week I texted him agreeing with the breakup and said not to contact me until i'm ready - i havent heard from him since - was this the right thing to do? I was thinking of contacting him in a month, once he has had proper space to check hes ok. Does this sound a good plan? Its killing me not speaking to him or knowing he is ok, as no one else knows about his past and depression.

 

Thanks x

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1/26/11 12:06pm

Just wondering - how did you get on?  How did things work out in the end.  I am in a similar situation.

Reply
1/26/11 12:15pm

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that I know how horrible it all is and you feel so alone.

 

Well the good news is it all worked out :-) It took about nine months including about 3 months where we didn't talk at all. He dated someone else which didn't go well at all and I think it made him realise how good I was. Although it killed me at the time and even now I struggle a little when I think about it, I think it was a good thing. I got my life back in the meantime focusing on myself, quitting my job which was getting me down, going travelling, losing weight and getting fitter. 

 

Although the last year was rubbish for me, he seems much more grown up now and realises I am the one and is doing everything he can to make me happy and for us to work. I used the time to research up on depression and through that I learnt I had to give him a lot of space.

 

I hope that helps a bit - please message me or write back on this about your situation and I'll do what I can and hopefully some of the members on this can help to.

 

x

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1/27/11 4:45am

Thank you so much for replying.

 

I really don't know what to do to be honest.

 

We've been together 9 years, living together for 3 years.  this is the first time anything like this has happened.  he has had work problems, gambling a bit and debt problems and also other family problems and everything he said has crashed down on him in recent weeks

 

he left as he thought i was the one making him unhappy.  that was 2 weeks ago,  he said he wanted a break to get his head together and to figure out if we would have another chance.

 

6 days later he calls around and says he's made up his mind and its over.  he said he loved me but was no in love with me.   i reminded him of recent happy times and said you must have loved me then, he did not reply. 

 

we have a house together and last night he said that he was not going to be coming back.   he has been spending most of his time working late and not returning home to his parents house until about midnight.  after work he spends his time driving round in his car or parked up.   he is isolating everyone close to him

 

he did go out last week with a friend that i have never met in the 9 years i have been with him and he admits that he kissed someone and has been texting her this week to say thanks for the good laugh etc,

 

again last night i said i did not believe he meant that he did not feel the same.  he said i was a lovely girl and i did not deserve any of this and he hugged me and cried.

 

he has been shutting out his best friends and family and is not communicating with anyone.  whenever anyone close asks him if he's okay he says he is fine.

 

last night he asked me if i had been with anyone else and i said no i was waiting for him to come back.  i could tell the prospect of me going with someone else was really troubling him.

 

he does not want to do anything to finalise the house and will carry on paying half.  he said he may feel differently in a few months and thinks it will be too late for us then as i will have moved on.   he said he needed time to sort himself out but then says there is no chance for us.  

 

he says he does not feel the same and i keep saying to him surely after 9 happy years it is worth another chance to see if he can feel the same way but he does not respond and says he has hurt me enough and i don't deserve this.

 

do u think this is depression?

 

even at christmas time, he was affectionate and happy to see me when i turned up at his place of work.  i think to myself surely he must have loved me then to be like this.  he says he has not felt the same for months but we went on holiday 2 months ago and i asked him aobut this and he said well he must have loved me then but does not anymore

 

i am so confused! 

 

i am grateful for any advice you could give.

Reply
1/27/11 5:16am

Hey, I'm so sorry to here all this. Its all too familiar to me.

 

I'm no expert on depression but this does sound very like my ex who has it and unfortunately the only thing I could do with my ex was give him the space he required. When he first want to split I did everything I could in my power to try to not let him go. Like you I couldn't understand how he could change almost overnight. A month or so before it happened we were talking about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. I couldn't understand how he could just change. I convinced myself it was his depression and he needed me as I was the only one who knew about it and I needed to support him. Unfortunately, this not wanting to let him go, came across as neediness and pushed him further and further away and probably into the arms of another women. 

 

I think as hard as it is, you probably need to give him space. With my ex it was only when I properly stopped communicating with him, and deleted all means of doing so, apart from email which I knew he rarely used, did he start to miss me and realise my importance. It must be so hard for you as you were together for so long and live together. Hopefully if you act fast and don't do what I did, he might come back sooner. I was pretty desperate acting with my ex, constantly pleading for him to try and to give it another chance, bombarding him with texts and I think this wasn't good.

 

I think at this stage if he contacts you, you should respond, but let him be the one who makes the contact. 

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1/27/11 5:28am

Thanks again for replying.  i really do appreciate it.

 

i will give him the space.  i have made plans to go out now on the weekend to try and enjoy myself and i need to just get on with things and wait and see what happens.

 

i just hope he sorts himself out.  its odd because in the 9 years he's never suffered with depression and i just hope he comes out of it sooner rather than later.

 

i am so glad to hear that things worked out well for you. Laughing

 

 

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By lionhead— Last Modified: 01/27/11, First Published: 12/11/09