HELP ME WITH MY FATHERS DEATH!!!!!!!! I need to hear from other people who have lost thier Dad, and think its the end of the world. I sometimes drive by his house andd think oh I'll stop in for coffee and a cha, but then it hits me,hes not their any more and its like a weight falls down over me and I cant breath. I know i'll never get over it, he was my Dad, but just a bit guidence would help me a lot.My Dad was a true bushy, he always wore a blue singlet, stubbie shorts and boots. He was a one of a kind bloke. My mother left him about 3 years ago, he just seemed to give up on life.At the end he gasped for breath and I couldnt stay in there with him, I couldnt stop crying, I couldnt look at him, I felt so hopeless, knowing my Dad was going to die, and I couldnt just be with him. My sister stayed with him the last three days, the last time I saw him was my 35 birthday, he died the next day at 10 past 11. To see him like that I felt my heart brake into a million peices. Two years before my cousin killed herself on his birthday, I know he held out so he didnt die on mine.Even in the end he was thinking of others .Please forgive me Dad because I never will.
Q: My father recently died from lung cancer, I cant seem to get over the fact that I'll never see him.
Hi thinkpink,
Bereavement can be one of the most lonely and most painful experiences anyone has to go through. The death of a loved one nearly always gives rise to a number of conflicting emotions and it may help a little for you to know that what you are experience is quite normal. The guilt you feel is probably mixed with all sorts of other emotions such as disbelief, shock, fear, great sadness, a sense of injustice and unfairness, numbness, despair and even anger. To reiterate, this is quite normal and there is nothing you should reproach yourself over.
You may well find that for a period of time you'll find it hard to get on with things normally. Some days may be a bit better than others and sometimes you may find emotions seem to come from nowehere and catch you out. This can be over the simplest thing like a smell that reminds you of a happy event.
I think one of the hardest things is shouldering the burden yourself. There's no need for this and I would certainly advise you to think about opening up to a trusted friend, family member or maybe a teacher or counselor. I've seen counseling imposed on grief and I think its not the best idea. You should feel comfortable about stepping in (and out) of any connections you choose to make in talking about your dad.
As you've probably heard or know, time is the key. Over time the burden you feel will start to lift. You will feel a greater sense of perspective on things and you'll have the happy memories, some of which you've shared, to keep your dad with you.
I haven't lost my dad but I have lost other members of my family. I know your journey will be different to my own, but I also think you'll have shared experiences, which is why I feel o.k. about replying to your question.
Your dad sounds like a great guy - and you a loving daughter.
I lost my father also to cancer in 1990 and I was 9yrs old. I can not tell you that the pain goes away. It will always hurt that you lost him. However you learn to live with that void. It will take time. I think that the first year you almost go into an emotionally numb mode or that is what happened for me. The second year is when it really sets in that he is gone and are not there to chat and come to when you just need a shoulder to lean on but it does get better. Find some way to memorialize him in your daily life. That way he is gone but not forgotten.
We lost a loved one in our family a couple of years ago and often I found myself getting online to email them and it would hit me that they would no longer recieve my emails. I decided to create an online memorial so that when I got online I could just go to that online memorial rather than emailing. The one we used is whopassedon.com i know there are a couple more sites like this but the names escape me. Best Wishes in healing
when we die, there is hope for a christian who repents of thier sins and puts their faith and trust in Jesus, the Son of God. We will live in joy and happiness for eternity in heaven with Jesus. If your Dad is this, then you have the hope you will be able to see him again if you have Jesus in your life as your saviour too.
1 Thessalonians 4:13
[ The Comfort of Christ's Coming ] But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.
go to: www.thewayofthemaster.com and click on "are you a good person".
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