Hey CLD   Well only you can answer this but there are many possible reasons why someone chooses to cut.   Here is an excellent article about cutting behaviors to gain some insight.   Here are my thoughts about reasons for cutting:   *  It is a self injurious behavior but not usually a wish to die.   *  If you have are feeling emotionally numb it is a way to feel more alive by feeling something...even if it is physical pain.   *  It can give the illusion of release from stress and uncomfortable emotions.   *  It is a way to control things even if it is our own body.   *  It is sometimes a sign of anger turned inward.   *  It can become an addiction or compulsion.   It would be really good for you to talk to a therapist about your cutting and try to discover the underlying reasons why you feel the need to cut.  It is very possible to replace this behavior with other more healthy solutions.   I hope this helps some.  Please do talk to someone.  Therapy does help.