4 month ago I went on a date with a guy I met on a dating website (I was looking for a potential long term relationship). We met outside at night (still light out, it was summer), then went to a restaurant that was kind of dimly lit. We were having a great time with one another. He complimented my looks numerous times, etc.. We were also drinking a bit. We each had about 3 drinks (I weigh 20 lbs less than he did). As we were leaving he asked to go back to my place. I said to walk around instead, and we did. Then he started coming onto me aside a building, I kept walking. I said I wanted to go home by the subway and we could talk while the train came to get to know each other better. He said to just take a cab. We got into the cab and he comes up close to me rubbing my leg asking to go back to my place. Eventually I gave in. I was very attracted and intoxicated. We hooked up, and immediately after he pretends like he has no free time. Later he said I was too needy and judgmental/demanding...and that the hookup was a mistake because he was "drunk and attracted and didn't realize how incompatible we were until I started mentioning to hang out again and calling/texting a lot", and that we are completely incompatible and never wants to date me, all of which I feel were excuses for using me. His demeanor started happy/energetic/attractive, then progressed to a mean personality. He mocked me at my apartment and insulted me as well after we hooked up. I have had dysthymia for 15 years about. I've been ruminating about this every day for 4 months and cannot get past it. I go to therapy every week as well. I feel like I will never meet someone as attractive physically that will like me, and that I was just his ugly "mistake", which is ridiculous since he was well aware of what I looked like, "drunk" or not. I feel like I am ugly and undesirable...even though I am constantly complimented by strangers, friends, random acquaintances, etc.. It makes no difference to me. Any thoughts on getting over this? It's put me into a depressive episode for the last 4 months now.