I think it's very understandable that you would be depressed after something like this, when you're dealing with some degree of depression on a regular basis, anyway. I agree with Donna about trying to look at it as a lesson learned. It doesn't mean you're stupid or ugly or any of those things. You're probably feeling somewhat used and betrayed. Hopefully, you're working on this in therapy but I know first-hand that when you have bad self-esteem issues, it takes a while to get through it. Maybe the next time you meet someone online, it would be safer to go to a coffee shop or somewhere that doesn't serve alcohol so that you don't have to worry about this happening again. I'm sure many of us have done things while drinking that we wished we hadn't - I know I have!
Hope you can feel better about this and put it behind you - there are certainly much nicer guys out there but you can't always tell from a first date.
Keep in mind that you're not the jerk here -- he is. Put the blame where it belongs. If you slept with a guy on the first night you meet, you can't really expect a long-term commitment to result every time. There's a lot of casual sex going around these days. Just tell yourself, "Lesson learned." Guys often have "sexpectations" while girls have "expectations." Or sometimes it's the girl who pressures the guy for sex. It can go either way. But don't punish yourself for "giving in" to what he wanted if you didn't really want it yourself; and don't punish him for not focusing all his attentions (and intentions) on you. When you have casual sex, I think you should be ready to accept casual results.
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