Wow ! I'm not alone. Although my fathers death occurred when I was in my early 20's, It was a very Tragic and Dramatic experience for me to go through.  It has been 9 years and yet still feels like yesterday.  My father was in a motorcycle accident which happened just around the corner from my house.  My dads buddie was riding side by side with him, and called us from his cell.....We arrived well before 911 could even respond.  Needless to say what I whitnessed that beautiful Saturday afternoon at exactly 1:10 pm changed my life forever.  The sounds, the physical site, the smell, and even the disbelief.....is all still ever so fresh in my conscience mind.  I choose not to think about this accident on a daily basis, but that isn't the case.  It was like a movie, a dream, or better yet nitemare.  I fight and struggle with Depression and anxiety every second of my life.  In the last 9 yrs. I have been on teens of Med.s, I have been to therapists, I even turned to Spiritual Advice for answers that I couldnlt find.  I was looking in the wrong place.  I have experienced a severe case of nitemares to where it resulted in Insomnia.....which can literally drive you insane.  I have experienced the paralisis, the visions, the sounds, I've even had daydreams.  I'd be wide awake and I can see everything take ace over and over again.  It became compulsive.  That state of Paralisis is probably the most terrorfying experience that I can recall besides the accident itself.  I don't have the answers, but can totally relate to you.  It is up to you to control your mind and thoughts.  It is very difficult, but I had to train my brain to Listen to myself, to understand and know that this is permnate damage that I have to live with.  Everyday is a differwnt journey for me
 mostly bad ones.  I'm still angry, still sad, and and I know this is somthing I have to learn to control, with  the help of meds. I think that my mind wakes up before my body...It is scary as hell because all you can do is  fight it.  I could be screaming at the top of my lungs, but no sound, no movement, just open eyes and a conscience state of mind.... Hopefully you will be able to grasp your problem and tell it that YOU ARE IN CONTROL....  You can do this.  It isn't easy and never will be.  But you can do it.  Hell  I still to this very second feel every bit of that day,  but admitting that you have a condition that need a little effort and attention makes things alot easier.  And please do yourself a favor.....TALK....TALK TO FAMILY, FRIENDS, EVEN DOCTORS.  Hell I talk to myself, and Most importantly  I talk to my FATHER......everysingle day..   Hope I can be some sort of help for anyone looking for answers on dealing with exyreme Anxiety and DEPRESSIPN.....i love you DAD..:)