There are so many reasons - to feel something - anything, or to not feel the emotional pain so much...anger....many people who have been abused - emotionally, sexually - cut. I know. I used to cut, but with the help of a great therapist I have stopped and learned new ways to cope, like picking up the phone when you feel that urge. You can do it. Hang in there. I know you don't want to do it, but sometimes it's the only way you know how to cope. Let me know....
Mara