Sunday, December 07, 2008 tam1966 asks

Q: childhood abuse and depression

Is childhood abuse a factor in depression and if it is how large of a factor does it play?

I was raised with a mother who is bi-polar. Of course back in the 70's and 80's there seemed to be little knowledge or help for families like ours. In fact no one even talked about bi-polar, depression, or mental illness. I am wondering if childhood abuse could manifest depression later on in life. I am not bi-polar like my mother but I do struggle with depression. I became depressed after I was attacked and raped (in 2000) which left me disabled. Yes, I realize that a sudden injury which leaves you disabled can cause a deep depression, but while dealing with the PTSD and depression with a therapist I noticed several things coming up from my childhood, which I have to say surprised me, I thought I had left all that behind many years ago.

Why would it wait until I am in my 40's to show up?

I guess sometimes I feel like my life is spinning out of control and I can't get it back under control. I have always, no matter how bad I felt, or how bad the day was able to hide it from my children. They are all older now and they know, and I don't even know how to explain it to them.

Any helpful talk would be wonderful

Tam1966

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Answers (2)

Merely Me, Health Guide

12/ 9/08 3:01pm

Hey Tam

You ask a very profound question.

I am in my 40's too now and I think what happens is...when things are more quiet as in no immediate trauma or crisis...the mind has more time to think and dwell on things from the past...especially unresolved issues. Maybe now is the time to deal with all the emotions from these past events.

I think that they are coming up now as opposed to way back when is because you were too busy surviving to truly feel the depths of your emotions. I am not a therapist but just talking from my own experience.

I am betting that it is awfully hard to hide all this from your kids. The hiding takes a tremendous amount of energy. Maybe now is a good time to let go...and let down some of the walls.

I empathize with what you are saying. I wish there were some easy answer but there isn't. This will take time to heal. Finding a good therapist or couselor may be the first step.

Thank you for your question and I wish you the best of luck.

Fawn

5/19/09 12:04am

Hi Tam....my name is Fawn. And, yes, I think our childhood plays the central role on the way we develope as adults. Me, myself, was born into an extremely dysfunctional family. Neither of my parents wanted female children, only males and they got my sister and I. My sister and I never bonded with either of our parents...my father made sure that he was at home as little as possible and my mother has a mental disorder. She would stay in her bedroom for days on end and even when she was out and about she was distant.

This was back in the 50's and 60's so you know that things like that were just never discussed. More like they were swept under the rug. I can even remember one time when I was about 3 years old, being duct taped to a chair with duct tape across my mouth so she wouldn't have to be bothered with me.

It took me a long, long time to learn to trust and only through my third husband that I have now. So, yes, I would certainly say that childhood abuse is a major factor in depression in anyone and can last for years and years. It's like the small child inside yourself that keeps wondering why no one loved them, you know?

I think, and it was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do, is to forgive them and let go and let God. In that respect, I felt the weight of the world come off my shoulders quite a bit. We can't change our past, but we can determine what our future will be like. The problems were theirs, not ours and we can choose not to carry their baggage for them anymore.

Q: childhood abuse and depression

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