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Poetgirl:  There is NOTHING more normal than wanting to try to handle depression without drugs.  Absolutely, completely normal!   But the fact that you know you've been wrestling this for over a year means that you should get some guidance from a medical professional -- even get a couple of opinions.  It is possible much of this you can handle, but a real doctor can help you assess what is going to help you most.   We all hate the idea of taking drugs -- but think of them NOT as a cure, NOT a reliance, NOT weakness, but as a remarkable support to give you greater clarity, strength to "do it yourself."  Would you hesitate to use crutches for a while if you hurt your leg in sports?  Well controlled with a doctor you can trust, you might find you don't need meds.  But you might also discover something that really can help you.   But you, me, our folks -- none of us can answer this as well as you talking with a good doctor!