I have trouble with sudden and unexplainable deep waves of sadness/fear and sometimes irrational anger. They pass, but I am unable to control them and it is very troubling. I have battled depression in the past but overcame it and no longer see a therapist or take medication. Does anyone know what could be causing these feelings and how to manage them?
One of the hard facts about depression is that episodes may end on their own, and it might seem the problem has been beaten. But this could be only the beginning of a cycle of moving from feeling great and productive to depression, with all its attendant features (deep sadness, anger, loss of concentration are certainly common). That's the way depression worked for me, and after a while it came back without any cause. Sometimes depression is a response to a triggering event, but often it perpetuates itself and keeps returning for no apparent reason. So what feels like getting over depression can just mean that it's gone into remission.
Of course, I can't know for sure what's happening to you, but I urge you to follow Judy's advice and talk to a therapist or psychiatrist to get an assessment. It sounds like you may resist getting help from a medical professional such as a psychiatrist - or taking medication. That's OK - lots of people won't accept drugs, and, while some people find them a necessary part of their treatment, others get no help at all and possibly bad side-effects. I would hope, though, that you're not resistant to accepting any sort of outside help. Once a cycle of major depression gets going, you can't stop it on your own - no matter how much you want to or believe you should be able to.
To think of getting help as a fault or sign of weakness often simply helps to empower depression. My apologies if that's not at all what you're feeling - but I just wanted to add that warning since it's so common (and I felt that way for years) to believe you ought to be able to handle it alone and then dump on yourself when you keep going through the same thing over and over again.
I hope you can get an objective evaluation of what you're going through soon.
I would suggest that you go see a psychologist for an evaluation. This may be depression and/or anxiety and perhaps this time you may need both therapy and/or a medication once again to be able to keep functioning. It could also be that you're having a hard time transitioning into your new life at college and that this new experience is causing the depression/anxiety you experienced before to resurface. Only a therapist will be able to tell you for certain. Untreated depression is likely to keep occurring, so I hope you'll check it out and put your mind at rest. Let us know if we can help in any other way; we're here to listen, at least.
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