Hi Anonymous:
One thing that you need to understand, is that pain is pain. Depression and grief carry with them similar types of pain and both can last a lifetime. However, both can be treated by an expert who understands the grief, death, dying and depression. You are going through (and have gone through) some terrible suffering and you should seek out a therapist and a support group (or two) that are in your area. You can find a therapist in your area at Psychology Today.
Support groups for caregivers can be located at your local hospital or hospice. You do not have to go through this alone. Please don't feel that you do,
Dr. Diana Walcutt