Friday, December 18, 2009 MBezesky asks

Q: Alcoholic parents, effects on adult children?

Is depression heriditary?spelling.. Both of my parents were alcoholics, they fought drank and my father beat my mother, she almost died one time was in the hosp 3 months, maybe this was there way of dealing with their own depression?

Just wondering how this effects you as a person? My brother died of heroin overdose and my 3 sisters drink daily?

Before my mother died she asked me if I was angry at her because she threw me across a room, I don't remember that...How messed up can you be from this? Hope it is okay to ask what ever you want here? Thank you

- A
- A
- A

Answers (2)

Merely Me, Health Guide

12/18/09 4:20pm

Hi there

I can tell you from personal experience that this type of background can have a profound effect upon your life. My father died when I was a little girl from alcoholism and although I am an adult there is a hole in my heart due to his absence in my life.

I want to give you the link to the adult children of alcoholics website. I think it would be good for you to meet other people who have also lived through such situations as you have described.

You are most likely stronger than you realize. You have learned how to survive. Do keep writing and talking about your experiences. I think it helps.

Thank you for reaching out here.

Judy

12/18/09 11:46pm

Hi, I agree with Merely Me. My parents weren't officially alcoholics but exhibited all of that behavior and I suspect depression was behind a lot of it. It has had a very strong effect on me and my siblings but we never talk about it - I think it made each of us withdraw into ourselves to figure out how to deal with it and now there doesn't seem to be much feeling among us, almost like it might be too painful to be close. When your parents treat you badly, you end up thinking you are worth nothing and that nothing you do is good enough. That's how a lot, if not most, people feel when they're depressed. There are a lot of wounds and scars; it sounds like genetics may play a part in your situation.

MBezesky

12/19/09 2:04am

I am 45 and never addressed any issues I may have and both my parents have passed away. It really makes sense what you have said. Where is the best place to start, if genetics may play a part which I believe this to be true, are there different anti-depressants prescribed? Thank you so much for your response, it really means a lot.

Judy

12/19/09 12:07pm

You could start with either a psychologist or psychiatrist - the psychiatrist would be the one to prescribe medications - there is a wide variety and what is prescribed will depend on your medical history, symptoms, etc. He or she would take a complete history and ask you about your symptoms, etc. A psychologist could evaluate you, as well, but in most states they cannot prescribe medication. However, sometimes it's difficult to get in to see a psychiatrist right away and a psychologist could make a referral for you. You might want to look for someone with experience in trauma issues. A psychologist is a person who could be your therapist, which I would recommend along with a psychiatrist. In my experience, medication alone can't heal all the wounds.

I think you would find a lot of relief in addressing these issues, especially since both parents are gone. If you don't have insurance, let me know and I can give you some information on how to find help without it. I wish you the best and hope you'll let us know how you're doing.

Q: Alcoholic parents, effects on adult children?

Related Questions

Ask a Question