I don't think I have depression but I have been quite miserable for some time. I started dating a guy that was everything I've been waiting for, for years. We were happily enjoying falling in love with each other but during our relationship my dad died very suddenly with no pre illness. It has been a major shock as he was young and healthy (he was a sports man). My ex supported me wonderfully and helped with things I will always be greatful for. He became my life line and our relationship moved forward very quickly as he put his life on hold to be with me and look after me 24/7. We were blissfully happy even through this pain but I felt guilty and didn't want to be dependant on him forever. I tried to tell him I wanted things to change so that we'd both have more space for our own lives. I only intended for us to have a healthier more balanced relationship onces we had a little space and said I couldn't love him at that moment because the funeral was coming up and emotionally I felt like I couldn't love anyone til it was over (which I now know to be true). He went very quiet and although I stayed with him that night and he went to church with me the next day, after church he broke up with me saying he was emotionally exhausted and that he wanted to be alone because he was still hurting from his past. He offered to remain friends but over Christmas suddenly changed his mind and after trying to get in touch with him for several weeks (he ignored all my calls and texts), he said he never wanted to speak to me again and that he never loved and that the person that he was with me wasn't really him. He also claimed that my love for him wasn't real and that I only want him back because I want him to replace my dad. We study together and I see him a lot but he has said anything to me since New Year's. I desparately want to reconcile with him as I don't believe he was pretending to be happy with me but I don't know how. I've been coping well with the loss of my dad and my family keep each other strong but I found someone I truly loved and although I won't love him forever (if he were to ignore me for year for example) and that I will move on I hope I won't have to because my heart has chosen him. Is he right am I feeling heart break or grief or could I be depressed. And it possible to be with someone through such intense emotion and not care one bit once the relationship is over. He acts as though we never met and seems to be some happy enjoying the single life which causes me the most pain. I've recently to get back into my studies and things are going so well I'm getting involved in a lot things and many opportunities have come up but inside I still feel pain. When ever I see him I feel weak and I have to focus all of my energy to stoop my self crying in front of him.