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Tuesday, April 27, 2010 Hope, Community Member, asks

Q: my son

I think my 19 year old son may be depressed.  He locks himself in his room allday and only comes out to go to the bathroom and eat.  He also works 3 hours a day.  He never socializes with any friends and has cut ties with his siblings.  He says he has no friends at work.  We are tring to encourage him to seek better employment as he is useing my car,he wont be able to maintain a car on his salary.  He aknowledges this  agrees with us but does nothing.  He can't even leave his room long enough to get a bank account.  I am frustruated.  He can't even hold a conversation with any one, he just grunts and runs to his room.  I know getting him help would be pointless because he would not talk, and probably not even go.  Could I make him?  What are MY choices in this?  What can I do to help him?  Please help?

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Answers (1)
Judy, Community Member
4/27/10 2:10pm

Hi, Hope.  We went through this with my older son, so I understand how frustrating it is.  My son was getting treatment already!  One thing under your control is that it is your house and you make the rules.  Some day, when everyone is relatively calm, you could try sitting down with him and say that in order to keep living in your home, he has to get some help from a psychologist and/or psychiatrist.  I know you think he won't even talk, but if it's a good therapist and a good fit for him, you might be surprised.  He might find some relief in being able to talk to someone outside the family.  It does sound like he is probably depressed.  If he ever gets to the point of threatening to hurt himself or someone else, you can call 911 and have the police take him to an emergency room and possibly, from there, he could be convinced to start treatment.


I hope you are able to get through to him; maybe you could even try writing him a letter, if talking is too difficult.  He may really be wanting someone to help but doesn't want or know how to ask.  I will say a prayer for you.  Let us know how things go.

Hope, Community Member
4/27/10 5:41pm

thank you so much for answering me.  I am not sure I would ever know if he would get to the point of threatening himself or not.  He is that disconnected from everyone, and that is the hardest part.  Having a conversation with him is so difficult, and he never responds.  I am hoping that he will return to normal soon, it's sooo sad.

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By Hope, Community Member— Last Modified: 12/25/10, First Published: 04/27/10