saddness over a breakup
I met a man at work he was so interested in me he always came up to my counter. We went out only twice and now he just avoids me. why was I dumped? It has been a while, I have no closure and It bothers me like no tomorrow! what is wrong with me? what did I say or do to make this happen? I really liked him. And now everyday I try to think over and over what went wrong? It is driving me crazy, I have no contact with this man and he does not come into the place where I work any more. very upsetting and depressing. Sometimes I just cry. I am 48 and he is 65. what can I do to get over this? It just eats away at me..help....
Hi, Fannie. This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you - it's possible something has happened to this guy and that's why he's disappeared. Or maybe he was afraid to get to close to anyone - not just you. There are all kinds of reasons, I wouldn't call it getting dumped, even if it feels like it.
When I was first dating my husband, he would sometimes "disappear" and I wouldn't hear from him some week-ends and I kept wondering what was wrong with me. Well, the truth was that his mother was going through a mental illness at the time and he didn't want me to know about it and she was very dependent on him, so he wouldn't go out every week-end, she didn't even know he was dating anyone. We've been married close to 40 years and I just found this out a few months ago!
I hope you can stop beating yourself up about this, it's most likely not about anything you said or did and more about something in him. Write here again if it helps - there are always people here who are willing to listen.
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Dear Fannie,
Like they say, "there are two sides to every story" You don't know what he is going through right now. There is now way to get in touch with him?????? I wouldn't say you were dumped. (That sounds so harsh and implies that it was your fault)
I hope someday soon you will get to talk to him and get closure.
Best Wishes
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fannie61
Friday, November 13, 2009 at 11:43 PM
Dear Maceymom,
I would hope someday to get closure too..........But, It does not seem like it.
You don't have his phone number? Communication is the key. Just ask him straight out. And think about it, if you like someone you would do anything to see them. Use your head not your heart. Hasn't there been a time you just stopped liking someone for whatever reason? For some odd reason he stopped liking you. But I would try to call him and tell him straight out. Knowledge is power. Also, find a new guy. Join singles groups. the best medicine is a replacement.
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Hi Judy,
Thank for your help. I will always feel "guilty" for his "not coming around" anymore at my place of work. The story goes deeper than what I had written. We just got along immediately when we met and were like two peas in a pod for months before we met for lunch the first time. I sit and try to figure things out in my head, maybe this maybe that over and over and get nowhere. I think I've been "had".....or, maybe not. Its like a puzzle that is missing pieces and I just want to forget and It is so hard to. Maybe it is better off he stay's a distance.