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Hi   I am so sorry you are feeling this way.  You are right...depression does hurt.  It does cause great suffering.  For those of us who suffer from depression I am sure we would not wish it on our worst enemy.   I am wondering how else you are treating your depression aside from your meds.  Are you also in therapy?  Do you have any supports?    I cannot give you happiness on a silver platter or tell you that it is all going to be better if you just do X, Y and Z.    But I can say that I know from my experience that it won't get better if you sink into your depression.  You do have to take steps towards wellness no matter how small.  And you have done so today by coming here to reach out for help.  Your depression is causing you to think everything is hopeless.  It is not.    Tell us more about the pain...where does it come from?  What is it you are experiencing?