Hi there

So are you asking for some courage to get you back to see a doctor?  Or are you wanting some explanation for your moods?  Or...?

It would be impossible if not unethical for anyone here to diagnose you.  I know that it is hard to wonder what is going on and sometimes you just want a label to define the problem.  If you are looking for those types of answers it would be good to see a doctor or therapist. 

I think many people here can relate to the rollercoaster ride of moods and seeking help.  Some antidepressants can do that to you...just kinda flatten you out.  That was my experience on Prozac and I didn't much care for it.  But there are so many medications out there now and so many different combinations that..it may be a worthy investigation to see if one of these treatments work for you. 

I hate to say it...but it is all a gamble.  Sometimes you get a great therapist and sometimes you get a stinker.  And likewise for meds or any other thing you try.  You have to be prepared to take those risks. 

It sounds like you want to get help...this is a really good first step.

Why don't you tell us what you are most afraid of by seeing a doctor.  Maybe we can help you address your fears.

Keep writing here and thank you for your question.