Hi, I am a stay at home mother of 21 month old triplets and a 4 year old. Three boys, one girl. I have been home exclusively since about three months before the triplets were born.

    I am overwhelmed, anxious, paranoid, stressed to the max and horribly lonely most of the time. I have periods where I feel completely rageful and so far have been able to get myself out of these situations without causing any harm.

    I am trying to diet, trying to get some sleep and attempting to do some excercise. None of these things are quite coming together.

    I can't remember the last time I felt like I had things under control, or had a sense of balance in my life. I have absolutely no room for upset.

    I would love to feel more like I am standing at an open window ten stories in the air rather than that I'm clinging to the side of a building with four kids and a husband on my back! 

   I'm worried that any side effect could have serious consequences on mine and my family's well being. I am concerned that and adjustment period on or off of this drug would just add additional burden.

    I should also clarify that I have been in therapy for nearly 17 years, I was on Paxil for a short time in college, but not in a responsible way (missed doses, lots of drinking, stopped cold turkey).

    I have two sample packs in front of me with 10mg. My doctor suggested I start at 10. Any suggestions or encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

S