Hi its me again. Thanks to those who wrote back. I gave my boyfriend space. Four weeks with just a few texts to check he was o.k. Then I called him up saying we should meet up to talk about things. He apologised for not being in contact but that is how he was coping with things. I asked how he was and he said fine then I told him that ive been finding all this very hard and would like to meet up. He didn't want to meet up and broke up with me over the phone while I was crying.He didn't seem to care. This is now nearly a week later and ive texted him to see he's o.k but ive just had enough of all this. I'm gona resent him for the way he's treated me while he's down as he just shut be out. Eventhough he was the greatest boyfriend for a year he is just another person and was horrible to me when he's down. I told him id always be there for him but he decided to shut me out and not let me help or be in his life. Ive had enough, he might get in contact when he feels better, but i don't think il be able to deal with all this again. Cudn't face going through all of this and worrying if he feels down again and when he is going to forget i exist for a couple of months again. Nway just thought id give an update. Thanks, Hannah
Q: Boyfriend is depressed and ends relationship
Hi Hanna
It sounds like you have been through a very painful journey. And it also sounds like you need to take some time for yourself. I know it is a cliche but sometimes it is true that when one door closes, a new one opens.
I wish you the best and let us know how things go for you. Take care of yourself first.
I am going through this right now!!! We have been together for 7 months and he was the perfect boyfriend. Sang to me on the phone. Called every night to tell me he made it home safe. I knew he had this problem but before it would only last a few days. Now it is going to three months. He tries hard to tell me he is ok and he loves me. But I cant see him or call him when I want to. I only text about two or three times a day. He can go two days and I dont hear a thing. We were going to get married. I love him and I am trying to support him, but it is hard being shut out. I will not leave him over this, but I am afraid he will leave me.I get frustrated because he will not go get help or medication. ( Which he was on, but it is soo expensive) I am scared every day it will be the last. I love him, just at a loss.
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I am taking comfort in knowing I am not alone in all of this, and I feel like I am learning and growing as I go.
I haven't been with my boyfriend for very long, and his depression is getting worse it seems, but he has been nothing but honest and tries very hard. I didn't know how serious this was until now, when he has shut me out for almost 3 months now. Even then, the last time I saw him he was down on himself and wasn't right.
I had no idea, and let him know how much this is killing me and how I really fell for him.
He just stared blankly out the window. I am so glad he didn't snap and break up with me.
Now I am realizing the pressure I put on him. He wrote me last month after a breakdown I had, saying he can't take care of someone else's emotional needs when he can barely take care of himself.
The pull to work through this and be with him is incredibly strong.
Almost coincedentally, at the same time, my best friend who understands none of this and has given me terrible relationship advice, is calling me selfish and ready to write me off, because I can not be there for her.
My energy is very focused on keeping myself sane through all of this and I just can't be there for anyone else right now. Then his words rang in my ears, and I immediately understood what my boyfriend is trying to tell me.
I would much rather be alone, taking care of myself, working through this, because we all know how draining it is. I write to him when I have these revelations, and let him know that I am standing by him.
I genuinely believe he is worth it and some how when he works himself out of this enough to see me again, I know there is a treasure there. It *was* there before, and that is why I am doing this after all. It is just hidden right now.
But I agree to look after yourself and do what is in your heart.
Just because his life stops doesn't mean yours has to as well. I am learning this and have come a long way so far ;} Not that I am going out and having fun, it makes things worse for me. But my work is also my hobby so at least I am being productive.