Hi LOST IN THE BLAZE,
Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. It can get better and it does get better. Hopefully you are under the care of a doctor and you are being treated for depression/anxiety. It is not something that just goes away on its own. It usually takes therapy/counseling and maybe medication. With the right combination of the both a person that suffers depression/anxiety can usually adjust and live a satisfying life.
Pat