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I must agree with Pat you need to see a doctor to work along with you.  But God is always listening, he ay not always come when we want him, but he is always right on time.  Life is full of trials and tribulations, and it is not always fair.  I know this first hand, but we have to learn to shake it off and keep it moving.  We must never let them see us sweat.  Yes in life many may turn their backs on us, but such is life, we must learn to keep it moving, we must learn to be self suffieient.  It is hard,but possible.  Life holds everything that we want we just have to go out and get it, nothing is going to be given to us, we have to work for it, and it is alway better that way anyway.  Do not be so hard on yourself my pops always said "if at first you don't succeed,m try, try again."  It may take a lot ot trys, but you will make it.  Hang in there!  sherry/smomdukes