Hello,

Thank you for your suggestions. I unfortunately can not ask to accompany my fiance to a visit as we live in different states and since he became depressed he does not want to spend any time together during this time when he is feeling so badly. His counselor also told him he could not be in a realtionship, that he needed to do this alone, and that he would be better off, otherwise he would become co-dependent. This advice seems very odd to me and I do not agree with this philosophy, isolating from family, friends and loved ones only perpetuate the lonliness and depression.

I did take your adivce and told him he did not get to decide what was not good for me, and I had no intention of trying to move on, that I was in this for the long haul. I mean what would this same counselor say if we were married, to just divorce me?

My fiance responded and we had a nice chat, he told me he is seeing a counselor 3 x a week, and since he has not gotten better, he is considering medication, which would put an end his career and he would have to file for disability. Unfortunately his career is one thing that continues to bring him happiness, so he is in a very difficult situation. He was loving and hopeful when we spent this time together, he told me he felt relieved that I am standing by him through this difficult time. He said I had to give you an out if you can't handle it.

We were supposed to talk the following day, and once again I have had no contact for over a week

How can I be supportive and encourage him, yet not push him or sound overbearing and controlling. How can I give him advice when he shuts me out, he tells me he feels so comfortable with me that he can tell me anything at all. Yet, he keeps almost everything inside.

He told me he was really greatful for my attitude and he was really working to improve himself, that he would not ask me to move on again. I miss him...and yes, I know this time it has to be all about him, I told him as much and he said, he was sorry he never intended for it to be this way. I and am very worried he is working with an ineffective counselor. Any advice would be appreciated...