Hi, there.  I'm thinking that your chest pains could be from anxiety, but maybe you should get checked out by a doctor.  Is there a particular reason why you are kind of obsessed with the idea of dying?  Have you been ill?  Is there anyone you trust that you can talk to about this?  I think it's kind of normal, as we get older, to think more about our mortality - not pleasant, but it's part of the circle of life.  I know I think about it more than I used to, I wonder if I'll get to see my grandson grow up.

I hope you'll consider talking to your doctor about the chest pains, though, and make sure it's not something else more serious.  Thanks for reaching out to this site and hope you'll feel free to write again.