Mel...   I hear you.  And I understand to some extent.  My mother was in such an abusive relationship and she had a nervous breakdown over it but she was able to start over again.  She got away.  It is possible.   Can you tell me what you fear...with calling the police?  Yes it will be hard but then a legal precedent has been set.  There are women who do get away and who do start a new life.  You have to think that there is hope.  I really honestly believe that there is.  You are capable.  You can do this Mel.  And also for your kids.    Please don't give up.   Your story touches everyone of us...   I want you to get some help.    Keep writing to us.  Know that we are thinking of you.