I AM VERY VERY sorry that you are in so much pain! PLEASE DO NOT DRINK IF YOU HAD A DRINKING PROBLEM. Booze promises to take pain away and it will give you more pain, if you had a serious drinking problem.

There is help for you, but its not in a drink! If I were you, I would go back to the doctor and tell him the medication he gave you is not working. Grief is very hard to go through. YOU are not alone.

You need to do the foot work. Ask God, even if you do not believe in God, ask him anyway,, to give you the strength to get the help you need.

I am speaking from my own experience and it worked for me.

I would suggest ,

#1. take the medication you were given, even if you think its not working

#2. Ask God for the strength to get the help you need

#3. call your doctor and get a appt. Tell him how you feel

#4. If you can afford it,  get professional grief help

#5. If you can't afford a professional, for the grief, look in your newspapers for a Grief Support Group

I think I would get ECT as a last resort. I know it works to break

depression,  but Buddy , I think you are grieving and you most likely, need to get your pain out . Your depression meds may be working. If you used booze to deal with life, then that may be why you want ECT, to get out of the pain. . You really need to speak to a professional. There is no quick fix for grief, BUT there is a light at the end of the tunel. Please, do not give up!