back story. My fiance and I have been engaged since July, and had been dating for 2 years before that. We started dating in college, both graduated at the same time, moved away to another state and moved in together. We've been living together now for about a year and a half. Both work and have good jobs. She is 25 and I'm 24. I have no prior history dealing with depression (or what I think could be depression) and need help.
She is the type of person who stresses about everything, especially her job. Not just typical stress, but completely over-the-top. I'm very laid back, so it's a nice mix. I know that she was on anti-depressants in high school, but stopped taking them after about 6 months. I have no idea what she was on. Since we graduated from college, we both work pretty long hours and we don't have a lot of friends, since we're in a new city. We try to get out as much as possible, playing in recreation softball leagues and such.
So lately, she's been very cold, not talkative. She doesn't eat as much as she used to, although she still does eat. She doesn't sleep much. She's short with me about a lot of things, even when I'm trying to do nice things for her. I've been doing some research and she has all the signs of depression. Feelings of hopelessness, self-loathing, weight-drop, loss of energy, etc.
She also has told me that she isn't sure about getting married. "What if we don't make it? What if we get married and I'm miserable?". She says she has a lot on her mind. We've fought more in the past 6 months than usual, and she said she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. She says that she feels like we are just really good friends and not engaged.
She had to go out of town for work the past 3 days and I said, well maybe this can be sometime that we can have apart and you can have time alone to think about things. She agreed and we've had little contact (1-2 texts a day) so that she can get the most out of it. She is coming back into town tonight.
Before she left, we were talking and she told me all of the above. She asked me what she should do, and I told her that she needs to talk to her mom. Her mom is the most rational person that I know. Well, she told me one thing her mom said was that she needs to see a professional about it, for sure. I agreed and told her that whatever she needed, I was there for her. She said she was going to make an appointment when she got back into town.
I'm just wondering a couple things, what is the best way for me to support her in these times? I was also wondering if anyone had any insight into where she is coming from. Is the "friends-not-fiances" talk possibly depression or does she just not love me anymore? I feel like she is kind of giving up on me and on us, but I don't want to be unsupportive, because now is when she needs me the most. Can anyone help me?
I just need to know what to do when she gets home. I love my fiance with all my heart and I would do anything for her. I just want her to be back to her old self again. And I want to be there for her. What do I do?