Unable to get motivated to even help myself out of this depression
I have suffered depression my whole life. I go sometimes a week or two feeling somewhat okay then I will have one to two weeks out of every month that I just simply crash. I struggle to not drink knowing that just adds to the problem. My insurance won't cover anything mental health related. I stay at home, yet just doing dishes, doing laundry, looking at mail, playing with my almost 3 yr old or anything simple seems impossible. I go to the doctor and get your depressed here is a pill. Last month I was given a month sample of Pristig I was just feeling a little better even though I couldn't sleep....ha ha but then found my insurance would not cover so 4 days later after cold turkey quitting I took a bottle of xanax...I'm normally not even suicidal...I feel very hopeless, and such a disappointment to my family...I don't want to go anywhere do anything or talk to anyone. I feel guilty all the time and feel there are no answers for me. How do you get help when your insurance isn't there for you and your doctor seems to just give a pill take a copay and send you home. Every doctor I go to it is the same thing. I WANT TO BE A NORMAL USEFUL HUMAN BEING TO THE WORLD, TO MY FAMILY, TO MYSELF. I want it to not be so hard to bath, fix my hair, put on makeup, or check the dang mail. I feel Pathetic....Im done rambling thanks for reading.
Virginia, don't give up hope. It's really unfortunate that your insurance won't cover mental health care, we should be past the dark ages but, apparently some people just don't get it. Here is an article by Merely Me that talks about how to get help when you have no insurance. I'm guessing that you're getting your medications from a general practitioner type doctor rather than a psychiatrist. While some psychiatrists are like this, too, a lot of GPs just don't know that much about mental health medications and hope that a pill will do the trick. It isn't often the only thing needed. I hope you can find a way to get some counseling, too, and a psychiatrist who gives a damn about you - there are good ones out there. Just tackle one thing at a time. If you're ever feeling in a crisis, here are some numbers you can call:
This site is a good place to come to, there are a lot of caring people here, but we can't prescribe medications or be therapists, so do consider calling one of these numbers if you ever feel suicidal again. Please let us know how you're doing; many of us have been where you're at and some still are, so know that you're not alone.
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leah
Monday, October 12, 2009 at 07:23 AM
silverfox46
Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 09:07 AM
i'm in the same boat can't find a drug to help me long term .only have a md . seeing a therpist still depressed . desperateneed help i'm ready to give up .silverfox46
leah
Friday, October 16, 2009 at 08:10 AM
Dont give up. I dont know what your suffering with but I just researched cymbalta.I found out it works well with bipolar & ptsdisorder.I was on it over a year ago , but was irresponsible and didnt get back to my dr. for refills.It almost killed me literally! The withdrawels were sooo bad. Worst Ive ever had.Ive been afraid to go back on. But nothing has done what cymbalta did for me. I called it my miracle drug the first week, it did wear off a little and needed to up dosage. I remember my dr. told me he had a patient who just lost job and wife was suicidal,started him on cymbalta within a week he was ok. So I think if the withdrawels were so bad maybe thats a sign of the drugs strength,also it helps physical pain such as fibromyalgia {i have}.This time I will be responsible with it though. Good Luck, day by day,Leah
Your not alone..I have been treating this all my life..i am bipolar i have been on so many medications its not even funny..i have tried everything-nothing works.don't get me wrong i did find something work after 2 years..it was WELLBUTRIN, LAMICTAL, PROZAC, ZYPREXA..they were working for a couple of months then i noticed it just stopped. so now i am back 2 square one. I use 2 take xanax but after a while i started to get addicited to them..then i had 2 go 2 rehab for xanax while it was my doctor who got me hooked on them...see that is the thing i have learned over the years..Doctors can only do so much..they are also the reason why so many people get hooked on these drugs..in all reality to get through this depression and cycles is yourself..it took me years 2 realize that..no medication will completley cure you..just temporialy..i know it sucks..i am having one of my moments just bursted out crying. feeling pathtic of myself..like i had let everyone down..that maybe my son will be better off with out me.-Which i have attempted to committ sucide-but i did get help for that..and that is not the ANSWEAR...i know what your going through so does everyone else who posted this..after i cried for about an hour i realize that it can be worse..i could be living in Iraq or some other horrible country that i have to fight to stay alive..I mean really fight to stay alive. yeah it is a daily struggle evry moring 2 get up and do something but i have the choice to do what i want..not a lot people have that.
i am a single mom..my son's father and i broke up about 3 months ago because of me. he couldn't fully understand what i am going through..his motto was like GET UP AND GET OVER IT..but its was not that simple..plus other reason of my extreme mood swings ,behavior, just a bunch of shit i did. which at the time i wasn't getting the proper help and taking all this different types of medication to help me-which the long run some of them made me worse..i lost my job lucky i was just approve for disability but the insurance sucks.
i have gone 2 group therapy, seeing a therapist, a shrink for meds one thing i learned.
IT UP 2 YOU.. i refuse to take anything now..i haven't taken any medication for 2 months now. its so fucking hard 2 do anything..and i get so fustrated...but i force myself to do something..like i make a stupid list it can be 10 things on it..but if i can accomplish one thing i am happy.. at least i did something..and now i live for the day..i don't worry about tomorrow because it will just stress me out even more. so i take it day by day..house work forget..it will be a miracle if my house is spotless..but i will get up and clean the bathroon and kitchen and do a load of laundry that we need. as long as that is done i am happy the rest will get done when it happens.
I look at my son and see he loves me no matter what..i have 2 force myself 2 do fun things with him.but when i do i get so happy in seeing him being happy at that moment..that feeling is the best then i happy that i forced myself.
although i am sad about what had happen between his father and i..i try not 2 beat myself up about it..its done.. no matter what you can not change the past..the best thing that came out of our relationship was our handsome 7 yr old son..yes it gets lonely but then i would think about our fights and thank god i don't have 2 hear his bull shit all the time..now i have a choice..if he starts all i have 2 do is hang up and not pick up the phone..instead of feeding into the bullshit.
Bottom line there is help..go to the community center or the state center they have programs for you 2 get help..
just don't give up..nothing is going to cure depression over night..it takes time..a whole lot of time..
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I feel you!! Right now I am home in the bed. Did not even attend class today. It was so hard. By the way i am a college student. That sucks that you do not have any insurance. You should be able to get on disability for depression so it could be covered. I've been going through depression my whole life as well. And everytime I transition it gets worse because I do not adore change. At least this website is great because we can support and uplift each other by telling our stories.
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Hi Virginia, Im feeling the exact way you are.I cannot seem to get the docters to listen to me.My docter had a book she looked in under bipolar depression and post traumatic stress and boom told me zoloft was for me. I could of done that. I told her I tried that before,she just ignored me and sent me home with the pills.Now Im worse than ever and sleep is my life.My husbands mad at me all the time ,my kids think Im just lazy and dont understand.I really feel for you with the medical difficulties,I was on medicare on and off for years.It sucks. Last week I spent hours and hours it seemed on the phone calling the customer insurance to get meds passed thru. Sometimes if you get your dr. to call the insurance you can get something thru. I think its time that we need a new "DRUG" though!