Your not alone..I have been treating this all my life..i am bipolar i have been on so many medications its not even funny..i have tried everything-nothing works.don't get me wrong i did find something work after 2 years..it was WELLBUTRIN, LAMICTAL, PROZAC, ZYPREXA..they were working for a couple of months then i noticed it just stopped. so now i am back 2 square one. I use 2 take xanax but after a while i started to get addicited to them..then i had 2 go 2 rehab for xanax while it was my doctor who got me hooked on them...see that is the thing i have learned over the years..Doctors can only do so much..they are also the reason why so many people get hooked on these drugs..in all reality to get through this depression and cycles is yourself..it took me years 2 realize that..no medication will completley cure you..just temporialy..i know it sucks..i am having one of my moments just bursted out crying. feeling pathtic of myself..like i had let everyone down..that maybe my son will be better off with out me.-Which i have attempted to committ sucide-but i did get help for that..and that is not the ANSWEAR...i know what your going through so does everyone else who posted this..after i cried for about an hour i realize that it can be worse..i could be living in Iraq or some other horrible country that i have to fight to stay alive..I mean really fight to stay alive. yeah it is a daily struggle evry moring 2 get up and do something but i have the choice to do what i want..not a lot people have that.
i am a single mom..my son's father and i broke up about 3 months ago because of me. he couldn't fully understand what i am going through..his motto was like GET UP AND GET OVER IT..but its was not that simple..plus other reason of my extreme mood swings ,behavior, just a bunch of shit i did. which at the time i wasn't getting the proper help and taking all this different types of medication to help me-which the long run some of them made me worse..i lost my job lucky i was just approve for disability but the insurance sucks.
i have gone 2 group therapy, seeing a therapist, a shrink for meds one thing i learned.
IT UP 2 YOU.. i refuse to take anything now..i haven't taken any medication for 2 months now. its so fucking hard 2 do anything..and i get so fustrated...but i force myself to do something..like i make a stupid list it can be 10 things on it..but if i can accomplish one thing i am happy.. at least i did something..and now i live for the day..i don't worry about tomorrow because it will just stress me out even more. so i take it day by day..house work forget..it will be a miracle if my house is spotless..but i will get up and clean the bathroon and kitchen and do a load of laundry that we need. as long as that is done i am happy the rest will get done when it happens.
I look at my son and see he loves me no matter what..i have 2 force myself 2 do fun things with him.but when i do i get so happy in seeing him being happy at that moment..that feeling is the best then i happy that i forced myself.
although i am sad about what had happen between his father and i..i try not 2 beat myself up about it..its done.. no matter what you can not change the past..the best thing that came out of our relationship was our handsome 7 yr old son..yes it gets lonely but then i would think about our fights and thank god i don't have 2 hear his bull shit all the time..now i have a choice..if he starts all i have 2 do is hang up and not pick up the phone..instead of feeding into the bullshit.
Bottom line there is help..go to the community center or the state center they have programs for you 2 get help..
just don't give up..nothing is going to cure depression over night..it takes time..a whole lot of time..