It sure sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now. I don't know if depressed men are more likely to leave their wives, but I know it can be very hard on the spouse of a depressed person - just ask my wife. I know that often, it is the spouse who decides to leave, because the depressed person simply doesn't have the energy or focus to initiate anything as complicated as a legal separation. Maybe a session or two with a professional counselor could help you sort out what's going on, just for your own peace of mind. Best wishes to you. This must be a very difficult and stressful time.