My five children have treated me like a step mother sense my husband passed away in 1992 at the age of 50. After his death, my grown children have treated me horrible, especially the youngest son.I have three sons and twin daughters. One of my daughters is very ugly and hateful at times. I have in the past, wanted to just take my life and realized that is no answer. But his death has caused me so much pain, and then the way my children treat me the majority of the time, is unbearable. They put me down, make fun of me, embarres me in front of people somtimes in restraunts. I don't even want to go to family functions, if it were not for my grandchildren, I would stay away. Please help me.. I don't deserve this, I have been a very good mother helped them with money at times. I have helped my grandchildren with their college there by helping my children, for years I have suffered their treating me this way..I am 63 and you would think they would see that I am getting up in age where I could pass on and they have this on their mind after I am gone, or maybe not..Help me please. Joyce S
Q: After my husband (this month would have been our 44th wedding anniversary) passed away in June of 9e
Dear Joyce,
No Joyce you DO NOT deserve to be treated like this! I do not understand this world today! I only have one child and she is 29 years old, and I refuse to be treated like crap by her. Its very hard to do, but I put her in Gods hands. I refuse to be treated like crap by any one let alone my child. I know the pain. I am 53 years old, and my experience is, the only way I can stop being hurt by her is to let her go. I would like to suggest, that you get a life of your own. Join a group of Widows, make friends, do things YOU enjoy, and for the kids that do not respect you, let them find some one else to treat like crap. I took my foot out from under the bus the 100th time it ran over my foot. Now, it will not run over me. I was a good mother, also. I now have 2 grand children that do not know me. The thought of them rips my heart out, but I will not be treated like crap by a child I raised, I loved with all of my heart and taught respect to. Some days I have to beg God to take her out of my thoughts because it hurts so bad. But no one that was a good mother should be treated like crap. Joyce, the choice is yours.
OMG, I don't have an answer but feel so badly for you.
I have 2 sons and know that they love me and don't disrespect me but I don't hear from them very often.
Prayers for you,
Donna
I've never had to deal with ungrateful children, but other relatives.... yes. Please find a good therapist who will help you establish some boundaries for yourself. Perhaps at a nearby medical school? And don't wait around for them to come around, that might take awhile, if ever - just go ahead and get involved with life. Church, volunteering, work, friends, a dog or cat, music, art - whatever helps you enjoy life. It is time to spend that "extra" money on yourself. If it causes hardship (real or imagined) to the kids - well, you said it yourself - they're adults. Take care of yourself!
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