Is it depression? or have my feelings changed?
I have been with my bf for nearly 2 years. Those 2 years have been the happiest i've ever had, even though i didn't show it sometimes.Recently, my bf has taken an apprenticeship miles away, meaning i only get to see him every 2 weeks, if that. Even though we were used to a routine of every weekend or 3 weeks at a time (due to distance) because he is even further away it feels so different.
When he first left, i was stricken with grief and sadness that i thought would pass. This developed into what i found could be depression (since i now have every symptom). Lately, i've been having doubts about my feelings for him and our relationship, which has left me feeling that,each day, it could be the end. These doubts are constantly on my mind, and it's left me feeling confused as to whether they are real feelings or just due to being depressed. As i feel so numb and confused all the time, i'm unable to answer it for myself.
It's been a month since he left, and there's been no improvement. I have managed to get a doctors appointment to seek help, but am afraid that antidepressants wont work, as these thoughts seem pretty permanant.
I have explained every little detail to him and he's sticking with me through it all. I cant help but feel i'm punishing him, and am scared that i'll stupidly end it. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and we recently got engaged (though i couldnt seem to express any excitement). When i see him, i feel like a lovesick child again, which makes all my thoughts contradict each other, yet when i notice it, i go back into a doubtful and sad bubble.I've spoken to almost everyone i know about it, but none of it sinks in.
I just want to know,is it the depression causing all these doubts and lack of feeling? or whether a change in my feelings for him has caused depression? what do i do?
Hey Caroline
How long is his apprenticeship?
It sounds to me that...well...you are love sick. I am not a therapist or anything...I am just a person who suffers from depression so take what I say with a grain of salt. But yeah...your feelings seem very normal to me. You are grieving him not being around. You miss him. I think the feelings of numbness are just a way to protect yourself. But as you say...when you are with him again...the feelings all come back.
If you seriously do think you are showing signs of a clinical depression as in a great change in eating and sleeping habits, loss of energy, etc...maybe get an appointment with a therapist.
In the meantime I think you just gotta find ways to cope when your boyfriend is away. Is there something which can keep your mind busy until he returns?
Hang in there. Please write back to tell us what happens with your story.
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http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/c/question/28894/44161
well my fiance actuallly asked his own question lol.
but yea he's going to be doing the apprenticeship for 2 years, and i'll only get to see him every 2 weeks at most.
I was told at the start that it sounded like love sickness, but we've coped before, only he wasn't as far away. Just when i feel i'm getting better, a new doubt or something to feel guilty about pops into my head, and i start over again. I have a doctors appointment for the coming monday, but if it is just me being love sick, will this actually help? will anti depressants actually do anything for me?
And trust me i've tried everything to keep me occupied. i even invested in 'play dough' because it seemed a good idea to keep me amused. but nope, as soon as a nasty thought gets into my head, i feel worse.
So i've found myself stuck in a vicious cycle :(
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i have been taking prestiq since summer and initally lost 49 lbs in 3 1/2 weeks!!!! the drug itself took about a month to really kick in, but i really like it! My dr. was so freaked about all the weight loss that she ran all sorts of blood tests and everything was normal! YIPEE!
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1st Caroline, I am sorry for all the blabber you are getting for advise.
You developed a comfortable situation with your bf, and now it has been upset.
You are fearful about ever getting back to "normal". So, the question that is bothering you is "is my fear rationale or irrationale"? If you are on good terms with your Mom, ask her. Mom's know a lot more than you think they do.
Frankly, it is a lot cheaper to become an alcoholic than a pill popper. So, forget either addiction. Just put on your smile, talk to Mom, and make darn sure bf wants to get back to you as much as you want him too.
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