My partner of 7.5 years (we do not live together) has just lost his best friend and is going through a stressful time in work. As a result is depressed. He has been prescribed anti-depressents and told to take time off work for a month. The problem is that he has told me he cannot handle any emotional stress at the moment and has totally cut me from his life. This is really hard as I do not live with him so I do not get to see him at all, he does not call, text or anything (it is as if I do not exist) He is however continuing to carry on with everything else in his life. He plays in his band, he sees his friends and still goes out with his mates. I assumed people who are depressed stay in? He says that he loves me so much but just cannot handle emotional stress and can see everybody else as they do not want a relationship with him. I am checking to see if he is ok every now and again as I love him so much but would like some advice. Is this normal and what do I do? hang around or go? I have given him a six month break. I have not had sex with him since January, have not stayed at his house longer than 10 mins since January. I am constantly asking him to come out to get his mind of things, I am taking him food over to make sure he eats which he does as his mates sometimes stay with him and they eat food a lot. He goes out nearly every saturday, every time I see him I give him cuddles and I keep telling him I love him but now he is saying that it may take him a year to get over his depression which means I will not be in a relationship with him for a whole year and not see him for this year at all.
Hi kmb,
I'm sorry to see that you are going through such a bad patch. The sad thing here is that whilst any of us reading your post might speculate as to what is happening, the only person who can really reveal the true motives is your partner.
All I can do is point out a few facts. It's true that the typical picture of a depressed person is that they stay at home and are reluctant to embrace activities they once enjoyed. Some men (I say this because men are particularly prone) do react a bit differently by seeking distraction in a variety of ways. It isn't actually possible to predict how long depression will last however.
My feeling, from reading your post, is that you question the motives of your partner. His behavior does sound rather evasive and there is no real reason that I can see, based on his behavior, why talking is something he can't manage. You need to consider yourself in all of this and consider what might be best for you.
I hope the situation resolves itself - for your sake - and his.
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