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Wow! I read your message and it was like everything I was feeling, you had written down. Even the years of marriage almost match. I have empathy for my husband's situation but am frustrated by his lack of follow through with meds and counseling. I have tried to tell him that the side effects of the meds are NOTHING in compared to how awful he feels when he hits "rock bottom". I guess it is like child birth and you forget the magnitude of the pain. This most recent episode was triggered by an unexpected job change and cutting a pill that was time released and should not have been cut. You wrote your message a while back. I am curious to know if your situation got better and if you are still with your husband.