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Sephora:: I am seriously, chronically bi-polar, and your descriptions of your husband's life are chillingly parallel; I've been living this for 40 years, although diagnosed & treatment for only 20....I love my wife dearly, and was completely honest with her about my disease upfront...it would seem that we have needs which the other fills, so we are together 8 yrs & counting.....Yes, all of the above are true...but we have built signals into our lives that allow for understanding, & coping. For instance, she knows that I cannot do public things but once in a great while, so a wedding for a friend next month  will be attended by her & our son, while I play chauffeur & wait for a call when they are ready to come home...Yes, I can rail mightily,for no reason, but for the sake of my son, I hide myself as best I can before exploding...&, no, I don't have to feel angry at someone before the fire comes...the fire is always there with me.. Happy is a funny word; maybe safety, contentment, or just a bit of understanding that the world doesn't afford us is a better description... To end.....there is nothing  you can do to help him get better....except to love the good things about him & understand that every day he lives, whether he says so or not....he owes to you.....Peace!!  dflat   PS ( dflats wife here) Always remember that no matter what he says in a depressed time it has nothing to do with you and his true feelings for you. You must find it in your heart and mind to wipe the slate clean after each and every time. It will happen and you will hurt but know that deep down he lashes out at the disease not at you.