Saturday, June 13, 2009 AU90 asks

Q: What do I have to do to get over this?!

I know that I have depression. I don't think I have had a doctor just flat out say; 'you have depression', but I know that I do. I know that the reason I have depression is because I am always sick. I have IBS, Status Migraine, chronic daily headache, and my doc is considering treating me for fybromalgia, as I may have this, too. Basically, I am in a ton of pain from the moment I wake up, if I even get sleep, untill I go back to bed. It becomes unbearable and I go in and out of these 'phases' of depression.

I just want to stay in bed curled up and sleeping, all i want is sleep but can hardley sleep at all. I will stop eating, sleeping, seeing friends, just stop funtioning all together. I have to drag myself out of bed in the mornings, or afternoon, what ever time that works out. I hate life and the thought of even leaving my bed room. Now these phases come and go. I do get better, and can return to normal funtioning. I just can't seem to make these phases go away for good. I am on anti-depressants that are for of prevention and pain treatment. They can actually make the depression worse untill i get used to it in a few weeks after its adjusted. There are days that I question if its really worth waking up and continueing with this life.

I would hate to say that I am suicidal, as I know I wouldn't have the guts to do anything like that. But i just have to ask, why get up and go through another day? What is worth it? I guess I have even thought about it before, thinking that it would be a way to finally make the pain stop, ALL of it would STOP. But like i said, I don't have the guts for that. So I guess my question is, what can I do to make all of this emotional crud stop? I need to be ok again and having a reason to keep goin. The meds are a bust as I have been on many but they just make it worse. I tried therapy a few times, that was a bucket of crud too. I just can't make myself go back to a therapist now. Anyone have any tips, suggestions, advice? Anything to help me get back to normal or as close to normal as possible? Thanks.

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Answers (1)

Merely Me, Health Guide

6/14/09 11:54am

You have a lot going on. If you have pain everyday...this would cause anyone to feel depressed. I think you have to prioritize as to what the biggest problem is for you and tackle that one first.

I have to say too...we have all had less than satisfying experiences with therapy and therapists but it doesn't mean they are all bad or that you will continue to have a negative experience. I think it can help but you must want to help yourself too. I do think it may be worth another try but you have to be open to the possibility that it can help. And too...it is just one tool in your arsenal to get better.

Struggling to find a reason to wake up in the morning. I have been there. It is hard when you feel like this. You tend to think, "why bother?" But there is a reason you are here. I strongly believe that it is worth it. Maybe it is to help other people who are on a similar journey. Maybe it is to share your gifts. Maybe it is to find out who you are beyond the suffering.

We all suffer. It is a fundamental part of being a human being. Nobody goes through life unscathed. There is no pill...no therapy...no method which will take all pain away. The trick is to find some joy...some happiness despite the suffering. It is easy to feel happy when all is well. It is not so easy when things are not perfect.

Only you know the answer as to what your purpose is...or the meaning of your life. But I do know this...you matter....you are worthy...and you deserve to find some happiness.

I do hope for better times for you. Keep writing. We are listening.

Q: What do I have to do to get over this?!

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