Husband won't stay on his Lexapro
Hello all. Am new an in need of a bit of advice.
I have suffered from depression and anxiety for all of my life. Well managed with Lexapro, no complaints.
My problem is my husband. He is also suffering from depression due to his divorce (not being able to see his daughter), his job, finances, etc. He does quite well on Lexapro (10 mg/day). But he will NOT take it regularly. I'll hand it to him every night for a couple of weeks and he starts doing fine. Then he just stops taking it. Once it completely clears his system, he goes right back to the irritability, mood swings, and LOTS of anger. Just last night he went from being loving and fine to us (more him really) getting into an argument about something stupid that I apologized to him about over a month ago. He slept on the couch (again), is giving me the silent treatment (again), and when I told him I loved him when he left for work this morning, his reponse was "See you tonight."
Any ideas on how to cope with this? I don't really understand not taking a medication that (he admits) helps him and I already have a son and step-daughter. I don't want to have to "babysit" my husband's medication....but the mood swings, resentment, and anger are really doing a number on our relationship.
Hi, there, and welcome to our web site. It must be really frustrating when your husband won't be responsible for taking his meds. Do you know why he does this? One thought that crossed my mind is that it can affect libido, but on the other hand, when he's so irritable and angry, you can't say that helps, either.
If you're willing to monitor his meds and actually hand them to him every night, I guess I'd do that rather than go through these mood swings. Is he talking to a therapist? You could also call his doctor and let him know that your husband keeps going off and on his medication so that will give him an idea of what's going on when he sees him. You could tell him about the mood swings and his lack of responsibility for taking the meds.
I wish you all the best with this and hope you'll let us know how it's going. It's tough when your partner is depressed and takes it out on you. It's like you can't do enough to try to turn things around and nothing seems to work. Hope you find a solution.
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Thank you so much for your very quick response!
I am very frustrated. And no, he is not talking to a therapist. I have mentioned therapy to him and he does not seem willing to do that either.
The problem is that when he gets to the point he is at now, everything is everyone else's fault, so there isn't much reasoning with him. I can relate. I am the same way when I am unmedicated -- nearly impossible to get along with.
He just goes into complete shut down with me and stays angry all the time. You can literally sense the anger eminating from him, which makes it uncomfortable when he is home. I don't like the idea of the kids being around the tension, but am rationalizing that at least they are not around it alone and I can remove them from the environment to a more positive surrounding.
I am just getting worn down by the tip-toe around the mood swings game. The emotional withdrawal and silent treatment are really becoming old, and I am nearly out of patience with the scenario. People can only walk around on eggshells for so long....then you feel like stomping on the whole carton, just to get it over with. Sometimes it seems the only power we have.
I appreciate your letting me vent. I was informed last night that I should "keep my mouth shut" about what goes on between he and I, but when I am unable to talk to him, I have to talk to someone. I am not going to isolate myself from others when he is placing so much distance beween he and I. It's not healthy.
The only solution that I can see right now is going back to handing him his meds every night. My fear is that he is already failing to take responsibility for his actions, behavior, and moods....I feel that I would be enabling that lack of responsibility or even providing him with justification to continue doing so.
Again, I sincerely appreciate your quick response. I will keep you updated on what progress (if any) is made.