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I'm right there with you. I lost a fantastic boyfriend because I was suffering from a major depression and treated him badly. I didn't know what I was suffering from till many years later, so I don't know if he would have forgiven me once I was diagnosed.   It's a little troubling that your boyfriend is still bringing this up. Maybe you can explain to him that anger is often part of depression. It might be helpful if you guys went into some short term couples counseling. I know from experience that it can be very effective.