I am so depressed & have become socially isolated. I never go anywhere or talk to anyone. I have severe anxiety & don't want anyone to see me. I have not thought of suicide but I can't see a way out of this.Every day I think of how I will cope with the next day & the next week.I just lay on my bed all day.I have to make an effort to get up before my son comes home from school.He is aware of how I am.He said he thinks all this stress will overwhelm me so much that one day I just won't wake up.He is only 13 & I know how much this hurts him.I want him to be happy.I think that one day this will kill me as it is getting worse every day.Please someone help me.
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Do you have any supports in the way of family or friends to talk to? Are you seeing a therapist or counselor? I would strongly recommend that you get in touch with your local mental health center. Or you could call your general practitioner for him or her to recommend someone.
I am going to give you some telephone numbers just in case of the event that you are feeling so low that you do not know what else to do.
These are suicide hotline numbers and while they are not a long term solution the people there can help you get through the worst of this if you need them. They can also hook you up with a counselor in your local area.
Here are those numbers:
Keep reaching out here and do hang in there. I am hoping that things will get better for you soon.
My name is Mike I am feeling very depressed and i want to end my life. I have alot of legal problems that is too much for me to take.
I know the feeling. I live with it every waking hour and nobody has a clue. I hide it under the pretense of being fed-up or bored. I hate my life, I hate the work i do which is a piece of shit for which i am grossly under-paid but for fear of not having money, i do it.In fact i hate the line of work i am in.Its easy for me, no challenge, no desire to want to do it, and its boring and sucks. I can do it with my eyes closed and sometimes i do. The thing is, i am seen as " artistic" and creative so i guess i just feel i might as well.
Though i do prefer small businesses or something i can make money from daily. Being in this show biz line is not me. I find it dull and the pay is in small amounts. Some days i cant even buy petrol. And i dont eat at work.
I was divorced a few years ago and have gone from being a hands on Mum who lived for her children to someone that reminds me of a washing rag with legs. I feel very anxious and worried every single day and most nights i cant sleep which i hide under the label of " insomnia" as it works and i am seen as lazy which helps as to describe the fear and anxiety in me would, i think not be something anyone can handle.
I have moved back home as was not able to afford a rented place which makes me feel great shame and i loathe it. Its like being a leech. As for society, i dont like people as i get anxious or feel bored and not tuned in. I miss my children, miss being a mum, a proper mum, not someone they see for a few hours. I miss my independence and not having to depend on people which has never been my way of life. But i pretend to be a slob and i go along with it as i am feeling despondent and like a poor beggar.
Every day is hell, i sit writing scripts or producing the most boring videos for a bunch of hard to please yet slow to pay clients, and i put myself thru it because i have no self esteem at all. Not one bit. Which is why now i dress like a rag. And my clothes have holes in them!
Depression and anxiety are not things we can snap out of but they overwhelm us and when we feel so low and so helpless its hard to make sense. My ambitions have disappeared and nothing holds interest for me. Apart from my children to whom i have proven to be a bad mother and is another label i wear. Throw in bankrupt and lazy and i think it just about sums me up.
How do i get better? I have yet to learn, and nobody to talk to. I tried prozac a few months ago but it gave me night sweats and bad dreams, so it wasnt good for me altho i know it is not like that with everyone.
I feel sad all the time, and if not sad then worried. I worry a lot. I dont want to be like this but i feel too scared to do what i could do. I feel defeated and weary a lot. And i feel like a failure all the time.
I smoke and drink coffee and spend my time staring into nothing until i am asked to do something. Truth be told, i feel i dont belong and i have no role. The only thing i perhaps am good for is how " not to be" and i live with it. It amuses people i guess or gives them a sense they can tell me what to do or advise me. But nobody can advise me how to stop this depression that is there all day.
How can we help?
I know how you feel My self speaking I spent five years in a hole a dark depressing hole with no way out but I still had things I had to do so I did get up but when I was up no one would like to be around me If I sensed They would say something I would go off on them and fight them
Bottom line get some sunshine and Know that there is more to life And better times around the corner
Nadiarox, I'm touched by your plea. It is terrible to know that you are not living life as you'd wish and yet unable to change it. This could go on unless you try to change it through your efforts.
You don't mention having seen a doctor or therapist. Are you adverse to drugs? Other substances? There is help out there, and as far as not wanting to be seen by others, a lot of them probably feel the same way, so, you may as well go out too.
The Community Leader here has written quite a few articles. Two in particular,
"I Don't Want To Get Up..., Part One" and
"How To Get Motivated and Moving..., Part Two", are very worth reading.
She also wrote several about being an Introvert, it's not always a bad thing.
There is no minimizing your condition; I know it well. But try to seek professional help, even enlist a friend or relative who is familar with your depression and anxiety to help make appointments and take you. You have to start for your sake and your son's. I'm sure everyone here wishes you well.
I know just how you feel, im only 15, but i've dealing with depression and anxiety for over 2 years now, my advice is tell somebody, a friend or a doctor, just so they can help you