i have been taking xanax for well over a year in a half its not really my job well it sorda of is but i have two teenagers one that wont get his act together i had him in and outr of hospitals he's bipolar he's living place to place doesn't listen to me he;s 19yrs old and my youngest daughter is 17 with my 8month old granson shes what u can say wildchild shes married but her husband is in prison i had her here with me threw out her pregnancy till my granson turned 5months she got up and left her husband was locked up the day she found out she was pregnant now recently cps got involed with my daughter because of drug use which my family reported her and i got blamed which it wasn;t me all thgis has put a toll on me my husband took me tuesday because i was having like an emotional breakdown also i was gettin pains like an arrow went right threw me he talked to me and prescribed me lexapro 10mg its only been three days,i try my hardest to give the best advice to my children the wont listen like the police told me there considered adults my daughter also since shes married with child i feel very guility like i've done wrong but i've tried i never had to take medication at all but now i do

Debra, you really do have a lot of things going on in your life, it's no wonder you're anxious and depressed.  It must be heartbreaking to watch your children do things that end up hurting them.  It is true, what the police said, that they're considered adults and ultimately, you have no control over them.  It may take the Lexapro a little while to work.  I take it, as well, and I did feel that it helped me right away with the anxiety.  Do you have a therapist you can talk to?  You need some support right now.  I have a grandson who is 18 months old and I know I would be worried to death; in fact, I DO worry because my son's house is going into foreclosure, but I have to try to let it go and trust that things will turn out okay, one way or another.  He tried to kill himself twice when before he was 20; my other son is 31 and developmentally disabled, as well as autistic, and he's had depression most of his life, too.  Please take care of yourself because you can't be much help to them if you're in pain.  I hope you will talk to a therapist, unless your psychiatrist also does therapy.  If you need medication, you need it.  Try not to feel guilty about what's happened - your kids made choices about their lives and you have done the best you can.

I wish you well and hope you'll write in again any time and let us know how you're doing.

thank you for responding back to me i only see my family docter i have my husband and mother in law for support my husband doesn't want me working he says my health is more important the thing i will worry about is making ends meet as far as my children my side of the family are not speaking to me because of everything thats going on they blame me for whats happening to my children and it makes me feel guilty, angry, sad,confused  i get these pains in the middle of my chest feels like some one shot me with in arrow these pains are uncomfortable and they hurt i'm hoping its not another panic attack trying to occur right now i feel sad, confused wondering if i should quit my job i don't know my mind is racing

Debra, I hope you will consider seeing a psychologist and/or psychiatrist.  Your body is trying to tell you something, and that is probably "Stop!"  Your family can't be objective, whereas a professional can, and you may need some other kind of medication that a psychiatrist would be much more knowledgeable about.  Rather than quit your job, perhaps you could take some sick time or a leave of absence and see how things go.  I'm glad your husband is supportive, but I think you need more than that.  If you need any information on finding help, please let me know.  You deserve to feel better.

i dont have a health plan i pay cash when i visit my docter as for me taking a leave of absense from work my boss is not very understandable she's also bipolar but doesnt have the time to see her docter my husband is bipolar also he sees his dr every 3months he wanted to set up an appointment to see a psychiatrist so i can go with him he has health insurance for counsiling and everything

We have information on how to get mental health treatment when you don't have insurance, if you'd like me to send you the link to that; I'm assuming you aren't covered by your husband's insurance.  I hope you'll do whatever you can to get the help you need.  I think there might be some laws about not losing your job because of taking a sick leave, especially if your doctor thinks you need to do it.  I understand having a difficult boss - I did, too, but I got a leave anyway.  She was a lot of the problem.

Let me know how you're doing and if you need more information, okay?  Hope you have a good week-end.

Judy

yes please send me the information i need

Debra, here is the information on how to obtain mental health care when you don't have insurance.  I hope you find it helpful, but if you need any more information please let me know.  I wish you all the best!

Judy

hi judy i havent emailed you in a while still dealing with my adult teenagers but just letting you know your advice helped alot my docter has me on lexapro and it works great everything you ever told me everyone has told me the same thing but i  just wanted to thank you for listening to what was going on in my life thank you

Debra, thanks for letting me know - I'm glad the Lexapro is working.  I was amazed myself at how quickly it took care of anxiety.  Good luck with your kids, don't let people put the blame on you for what happens.  You're just doing the best you can.

Take care.

well judy bad news today my son was living in the streets but my brothers gave him one more chance to live with him my brothers were away brcause my mom suffered a mild heart attack shes doing better she got out of the hoispital on mothers day anyways my 19yr old stoled 300dollars from my brother it was for his car payment so they kicked him out  every where he goes he has to be stealing even family hes bipolar doesnt see his docter on probation for stealing at the mall and my daughter is 17 she has a 8month old son my grandson who i love very much cps took him away and gave temopary guardianship to my sister the reason is shes using crack/cocaine i keep trying to tell these two theres help out there all the have to do is ask my faMILY STILL puts me under alot of pressure i didnt want to tell my mom that my son stoled from brother since she got out yesterday from the hospital but i can't lie to her shes wodering why my son kept calling her last nite and today i'm so worried about my two kids one whos a crackhead and one whos a thief and i have my husband sick with high bloodpressue and has to go see a heart specialist ohh!!! i just feel like i'm to blame i feel like running away this is driving me crazy!!!!!

Debra, I'm sorry to hear you're having more trouble with your kids.  It's hard because they're adults and we can't really do anything or make them shape up.  You are not to blame, they're making their own choices, so don't let anyone lay that on you.  But I know, we never stop worrying.  I'm sure I'd feel the same way.  One of my sons has been in some trouble and paid the consequences, but he finally grew up.  I'll bet Mother's Day wasn't a particularly nice day for you.

Maybe it would help if you got a therapist you could talk to, who could help you with coping skills and ways to minimize the stress you're under.  Medication can just do so much.

Write again any time, keep us posted on how things are going.

why do feel like i'm to blame? i worry there gong to end up dead somewhere thats why i keep there cellphones activated thats my biggest fear death i don't want anything to happen to my kids i'm i being selfish for not taking back  in my household we have a restraining order on my son for his manic behavior and my daugher tells my mom that i don't want her here its that she needs to bond with her baby he lives right next door from mom's well my sister does she has guardianship of my grandson everyone says i'm selfish and a bad mother

am i being selfish for not taking my kids in my husband is going through alot he's sick i'm worried about that also

Debra, it's understandable that you feel responsible for your kids; you have to take care of yourself.  Kids have to discover that there are adult consequences for their behavior.  I know it hurts.  That's why I suggested a therapist because it would be someone objective who wouldn't judge you for anything.  We all have our reasons for doing what we do and it helps if we can understand ourselves - you can't fix what you don't know.

Hang in there, you're doing the best you can!

i'll try i told my mom what my son did she just got out of the hospital she was upset i told her not to say i said didn't want nobody sayin anything to me she stresses alot too well goodnite thank you for your advice i'll be keeping in touch thank you goodnight

hi judy, i haven't written u in a while it's me debra,well i still have alot going on on my plate things in my life have esculatedwell my daughter has gotten worse on her drug addiction,my son is not reporting to his probabtion officer i went to see my docter he gave me an excuse for a week off but i ended up quitting dealing with all that i'm going through has took a toll my docter was worried about my weight i've been losing weight i can't sleep i'm constantly up and about in the house it's like i can't sit still the lexapro 10mg i'm taking and the xanax 1mg that i also take only does so much my emotions are messed up i day i'm ok another day i'm fustrated then sometimes sad where i cry i already made an appointment with MHMR i asked my docter what these symtoms i'm having are he thinks it might be that i might be a little bipolar.thoughts of suicide i never thought about afflicting harm on myself but to be honest i fantasied about how would it be if i died will these two kids i'm having problems with straighten up?should i let MHMR know this also i've been getting confused i've locked my husband out of the house on servral occasions i was'nt thinking also today i thought today was Sunday my husband told me it was tuesday i feel bad because i'm no longer working when i told my docter i was no longer working it was like  relieving for him because i couldn't work the way that am and what i'm goin through he said he would help me apply for social security iwas always an an independant woman working since i was 17 now that i'm 38 why did this happen it upsets more because my husband has to do everything now and me i've gotten so obessed on my space only to check up on my kids to see if there ok they hardly call if they do its only for money which i don't give so the cuss me out i'm always staring at my cellphone to see if anyones called i get about 4 to five hours of sleep when i do awake in the morning the first thing i do is check my phone to see if anyone called and go to the computer and check my kids my space profiles i feel like since i'm not workin i feel hopless worthless that my husband has to do all the work i don't know what eelse to tell you but so far this is whats goin on in my life

Debra, sorry it's taken so long to respond, but I just got back from vacation.  I hope you'll start giving yourself a break in taking the blame for everything that's going on.  It's okay not to work - I wish I could have quit, I would have been a lot healthier, but I had to stick it out until I retired.

I really think you should find a therapist because it sounds like you need some support and help in thinking things through.  Your husband seems supportive, but he can't be as objective as a therapist.  Drugs can't fix everything - I can tell you that first-hand.  Try to have as little contact as possible with the people who stress you out - you need to be around people who make you feel good about yourself.

Let me know again how you're doing and I hope you'll try to find a therapist.  You deserve the support.

Judy

thank u judy i have an appointment with MHMR on August 3rd i'll keep in touch

hi judy, i haven't written u in a while it's me debra,well i still have alot going on on my plate things in my life have esculatedwell my daughter has gotten worse on her drug addiction,my son is not reporting to his probabtion officer i went to see my docter he gave me an excuse for a week off but i ended up quitting dealing with all that i'm going through has took a toll my docter was worried about my weight i've been losing weight i can't sleep i'm constantly up and about in the house it's like i can't sit still the lexapro 10mg i'm taking and the xanax 1mg that i also take only does so much my emotions are messed up i day i'm ok another day i'm fustrated then sometimes sad where i cry i already made an appointment with MHMR i asked my docter what these symtoms i'm having are he thinks it might be that i might be a little bipolar.thoughts of suicide i never thought about afflicting harm on myself but to be honest i fantasied about how would it be if i died will these two kids i'm having problems with straighten up?should i let MHMR know this also i've been getting confused i've locked my husband out of the house on servral occasions i was'nt thinking also today i thought today was Sunday my husband told me it was tuesday i feel bad because i'm no longer working when i told my docter i was no longer working it was like  relieving for him because i couldn't work the way that am and what i'm goin through he said he would help me apply for social security iwas always an an independant woman working since i was 17 now that i'm 38 why did this happen it upsets more because my husband has to do everything now and me i've gotten so obessed on my space only to check up on my kids to see if there ok they hardly call if they do its only for money which i don't give so the cuss me out i'm always staring at my cellphone to see if anyones called i get about 4 to five hours of sleep when i do awake in the morning the first thing i do is check my phone to see if anyone called and go to the computer and check my kids my space profiles i feel like since i'm not workin i feel hopless worthless that my husband has to do all the work i don't know what eelse to tell you but so far this is whats goin on in my life